Yes, we have been in all kinds of counseling. Individual, family, peer groups, etc. She even lived at a residential Christian home and we had family counseling 4 times a month. She had counseling and peer groups almost every day! I do think it is a cry for attention, that she wants to show me how tough she is and it's a loyalty thing to her real mom. She even tells us that. I am not ready to do anything at this point but some decisions are going to be made this year when I make a will. Right now I don't want to be resposible for her financially or if my DH died. I have 2 other kids! She hates me.
DH tries to discipline her but there is no respect. she is horrible to all of us and only gets worse. He has tried to come up with someone in the family to take care of her but everyone knows she is out of control and noone wants to deal with the drama! We don't know what to do...

She is on anti anxiety and anti depressants. It doesn't seem to help. She even says she doesn't need it but then asks the shrink for more. Who knows?? She is diagnosed depressed. Her BM signed over her rights in 2007 and never talked to us again. We found out she died in 2008. OUr relationship was healthy until she died. SD14 completely turned on me. She says her mom told her never to respect me, call me mom, etc so she is paying a debt to her dead mom by making my life a living hell. She says she will do it FOREVER. I told her she doesn't have that power over me but right now she is in our home so it is always in crisis mode.
She says that I am her target for her anger towards her real mom because she can't be mad at a dead person.
Military camps overseas? Sounds good to me!!! We have been exporing our options and so far can't find placement for her. We can't afford it. She excalates arguements until we have to call the police to calm her down. she wants to go to jail but they won't take her. YET...

She is on anti anxiety and anti depressants. It doesn't seem to help. She even says she doesn't need it but then asks the shrink for more. Who knows?? She is diagnosed depressed. Her BM signed over her rights in 2007 and never talked to us again. We found out she died in 2008. OUr relationship was healthy until she died. SD14 completely turned on me. She says her mom told her never to respect me, call me mom, etc so she is paying a debt to her dead mom by making my life a living hell. She says she will do it FOREVER. I told her she doesn't have that power over me but right now she is in our home so it is always in crisis mode.
She says that I am her target for her anger towards her real mom because she can't be mad at a dead person.
Military camps overseas? Sounds good to me!!! We have been exporing our options and so far can't find placement for her. We can't afford it. She excalates arguements until we have to call the police to calm her down. she wants to go to jail but they won't take her. YET...

He was a pushover and parented out of guilt but has stepped up to the plate for over a year now. He learned alot thru counseling and realized that he let her manipulate him and he let me be her target. We are very united now, but she sees it as "me winning the contest". Her mom behaved this way til she died-always lying, avoiding responsibility, blaming, etc. We hope that we "raise the bottom" for SD14 she will realize this behavior is not getting the payoff and attention it used to get, her always being the victim, and she will decide to respect us and live her life! So far it gets worse DAILY!! The staff at the residential place where she was for a full year said that the treraputic Christain approach did not work and she might need a boot camp or something like that. She says she would rather go to jail or foster care which is really sad because we have a wonderful home and family.

No, she is 14 now. Sorry for confusion. If things are still this toxic and crazy when she is 18 she will not be welcome in our home. The threats and yelling is too much for me and I hate that my 2 young kids have to live it. We just don't know how to get things under control for the next 3.5 years!

I love that idea but there is no where for her to go. No family members want her. We asked. And she has no friends. There is 1 friend that we have never met that she said will take her any time. Next time she says it I will say pack a bag let's go over there!