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You know what pisses me off?

Queencow's picture

The fact that these people (usually some HC BM, but I am sure some HC BD's are in here too) can run their mouths off, terrorize families, hold hostage children, destroy relationships - make all sorts of wild, false, vicious, hurtful and devenstating comments and allegations (usually of an abuse nature) against SM/SD or the BP....

And walk away Scott F* free...no remorse and worse yet - ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY for the carnage they leave behind. They wake up one day and just get to f* pretend nothing happened and "life is good". And NO ONE EVER hold then accountable to what they did or prevents it from happening again.

Its Bullshit. I wish there was something out there, a judge, court, law that held these people accountable and punished them from their terrorizing ways. Like in criminal court - the victims usually get a victim statement - WE have a right to that as well - closure, the ability to speak our mind to how it makes US feel - to someone who will listen and do something.

(FYI - I am not physically hurt - but F* how is it today she gets to walk around like everything is fine and suddenly the kids are not afraid of us/me/our home, when for WEEKS shes refused access over fear and when faced with "prove it" and I had to "defend it" - that she simply ignores any request to "prove" and now acts like nothing happened)

/rant

(ya I realize nothing will ever happen to her - but you know what it doesn't make that right, for anyone, that these people get to do this.)

Queencow's picture

BTW - I just wanted to get that out - to have a voice, to people who understand, can sympathize/empathize, who may have wanted to say the exact same thing. I am not angry - it just pisses me off we have no voice to fight these things.

AllySkoo's picture

You're right, it IS bullshit, but if it makes you feel any better, there actually DO seem to be long term consequences, for some of them at least.

LONG before I came into the picture, BM waged a PAS battle against DH. She convinced the girls that their Dad would abuse them if they were at his house, and she withheld visitation for years. Now, by the time I came along, that had settled down after court battles - the girls were having regular visitation, they'd seen for themselves that their Dad was good to them, and they enjoyed spending time with him. And in fact the youngest recently choose to come live with us (because "I can't take Mom's crap any more") and the oldest 2 who live in their own apartment take everything their mother says with a large grain of salt. Because they KNOW, they remember, that she was completely full of it and that she tried to hurt their relationship with their dad. And in the end? She seems to have hurt her own relationship with her kids FAR more than she did DH's. Thank GOD.

derb84123's picture

It can be extremely infuriating OP. We deal with a BM who breaks the CO, takes the kids and disappears with no contact, is hours late all the time, refuses to allow standard AND recommended by Drs medical treatment, and tries to PAS the children. Not to mention the physical violence in her home....

If she was a man, she'd be in prison. Instead, we document, we hire attorneys, we go to court- she gets another chance, we go back and do it all again.

The only thing I can say is, I feel you.

Queencow's picture

I have been in this "battle" for 12 years...the kids are 13/14.
I really am just tired of it, and so far, no consequences.

It feels good to have my voice heard and get it out.

thinkthrice's picture

It IS infuriating! Big Bird is living large and karma-free so far--she got what she wanted--biodad's wallet, complete PA and "new" daddy with a fat wallet.

But there are inklings of legal problems to come since she is a BFF BM and stepdad is a wet noodle who cowers in her presence. Not long before skids have a new wardrobe of ORANGE!

blayze's picture

I totally agree!! Thank you.

I have recently been dealing with the TRAUMA of being stalked and harassed by a stranger when SO and I first got together. Things still trigger me and I have to deal with the fallout...by myself it seems.

Yes, the stalker and harasser was his ex, and there was more that she did to him, but in my eyes she was a stranger. And she caused me harm... and then caused my man harm.

I told him that I will look for ANY reason to put her ass in jail as she is a CRIMINAL and must be stopped! Even though I know she is a POS, it still sucks that I have not been able to have justice for the crimes that were committed against me. Just like any other stalking victim, I would like to see her punished as she had NO RIGHT to do this to me... and when I say something like "I wish she didn't exist" or "I want her to pay", people will say, "But that's your SD's mother!" As if that makes it alright. :?

Criminals are to be judged by the severity of their crimes, not their parental status.

Dizzy's picture

I got the "How would SD feel if she knew you don't like her mom?"

Why should that matter?! And why is that MY problem? Shouldn't that be the problem of the person who caused the problem?? Like, oh just MAYBE, her mother should have thought about that??

I am SO sorry that your Skids BM stalked you! That must have been terrifying! And I TOTALLY get how you feel about her being a stranger! That's how I feel about my SD's BM. She's a stranger to me and my BD6. I don't give a shit that my DH was married to her and had a kid with her! That makes her no more familiar to me than any other dumb whore my DH fucked before me!

Calypso1977's picture

i know BM will get what's coming to her some day. she will be penniless at 50. once the gravy train stops (CS) she has no job, no degree, no source of income. when her parents die she will get their life insurance, but they have a GIGANTIC mortgage on their home that they've owned for 4 generations (yes, these people have major cluelessness when it comes to money management).

she will have to find a man to take care of her, but she's ugly as sin on the outside and inside and what fool (other than my fiance) would want to marry her and live with her parents?

that's what keeps me going during these times where it appears she is living the life o'reilly.

ocs's picture

YES! I totally feel you...

BM criminally harassed me, and police had to be called. I did not have her arrested bc of DH and his relationship with his daughter, but the cops warned her I would have her arrested if she tried anymore shit. I also tried to have compassion since she was pregnant with her 3rd spawn.

Since then? Manipulation to the extreme and I'm the bad one. oh well.

DH's family still bends over backwards to appease her and I'm over it. MIL says it is because otherwise they'll never see SD. I sometimes wish she would cross the line again, nothing would make me happier than calling the cops again.

Funny enough? SD has been friendly with me lately... she may be maturing and handling her batshit mother better, who knows?

usedup1's picture

When a woman is abused physically, emotionally, and mentally by her partner, and murders him, the defense now looks at that as a valid reason, and she doesn't have to spend her life in jail. She receives counceling, and support, from the torture she endured for years. Rightfully so.
people always ask "why did you stay"? But if you look at the reasons these wives stayed, its understood. Especially if you have bio children in these situations. Abuse is abuse, it doesn't just come from the man.
I love the saying.
"I used to think you took my breath away
but then I realized I was just being suffocated
by your bullshit".

Remember, with these aweful BM and SD etc..

THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL..

Dizzy's picture

You're preachin' to the choir, sister!!

It's complete, utter bullshit! BM will literally ignore questions or comments about her false allegations! She acts as if she has done nothing to deserve such strict boundaries. It drives me even more insane! This woman made rape allegations against my DH while they were married..went to the police, went to the hospital for a rape exam--all with SD in tow!! She made child abuse allegations against me...called the cops, I had to be interviewed, as did DH...SD had to be interviewed...she put her daughter through that. Acts as if nothing happened and she's some kind of victim of her daughter's evil stepmother! The nerve!!

The one thing that gives me solace, is that when I was being interviewed by the detective investigating the child abuse allegation, I mentioned the prior false allegations (as did DH the day before) and asked what our recourse would be in the event that there are more false allegations in the future...he told me that BM had been warned. Some comfort in that!

onthefence2's picture

Who wants to start a website like thedirty.com where we post all these losers online? There's nothing better than public shaming! Smile

vickimill26's picture

I DO! I have videos of crazy behavior! In public!
DH threatened her once that he would post it on FB! She wigged out, even had SD7 begging him not to post!

LOL, I would do it in a second!

Dizzy's picture

I've come THISCLOSE to posting BM on The Dirty. I'm actually surprised nobody has done it yet!