Some people fail to realize that the way you treat one child is not necessarily indicative of the way you will treat another child, let alone someone else's child vs your own child. My husband falls into this category he believes that it is possible to love someone else's child as much as you would love your own child. If you really wanted you could try to show him how your own child would be different to having a step kid...however I feel like you that you shouldn't have to prove that you would love your own kid.

I also think that he is using your distance from his kid as an excuse to not have children with you, that is not the real issue. The real issue is that he doesn't want to have kids. Maybe that is he doesn't want them right now, maybe it is that he never wants any more and maybe it is that he doesn't want any kids with you. That is something you will have to try to work out from him if you decide to stick around.

Why would you want to get a child out of a guy that only works part time and makes you feel like you have to prove yourself? You sound like you have your life generally together except for the jerk you're dating. Walk honey. Walk quickly to a better guy.

Don't walk - RUN - he is a jerk and will make your future life hell.

I'll just add "what they said!"^^^^^^^^^^

WALK !! Run, swing those hips in some nice high heels, mosey to the corner ... whatever, but get out of that one.

The man is not that into you. Not enough to work a real job. Not enough to take care of his own business. Not enough to make you proud. Why would you want low-rent sperm ?

This is nothing about showing him how different your bio-kid will be from his other bio-kid. I get that you have invested years of your life. You don't want to feel as if you wasted them. Guess what? You haven't wasted them. You just got your Bachelor of Science degree.

This is more about how you want to live your Life.

Ummmmmmm................he's telling you that he has no intention of marrying you or having children with you.

I'm going to be blunt and tell you that you are only his cash cow. He works part time but insists you prove yourself to him.

Free tip......withdrawal any money you deposited into that savings account and get the eff out of this relationship.

I have a similar issue with my husband. Call it false pretenses. He has a child of his own and is attempting to raise a son that is not his. BM lied to him about the boy, and 3 days before they got married she fessed up. She cheated on him while he was away on active duty and lead everyone to believe the son was his. I made sure he understood I wanted a child before we got married. I have fertility issues, and tried Clomid. I told him how it worked and he bulk every time the window was open, and now denies he was doing this on purpose. I have been married once before, and don't feel I should put my life on hold for someone to lie to me. I'm not sure what to do either.

The fact is, there is no way of proving your self until you've had kids. Sure you can babysit for friends or family and even being around his kid proves nothing. It's an entirely different ball game when it's your kids. There's lots of questions, what would you do if, when and so on. You can answer them, but truth is you're saying what you like to think you would do. When the situation actually comes up you'd be surprized at how you actually react. I've have never been proven wrong more times in my life than when it has to do with my kids.
Plus, the way he does things and the way you do things might be different. So, he's putting you in a position where you will never be able to prove yourself and he never has to have another kid, plus don't have a baby with someone who seems commited but really isn't, ie no marriage after five years.

Why do you WANT to have a kid with man? :?

Run now! I was not good enough either, and told to prove myself.. to him, to the family, to the ex-wife. I am now 1000 miles away from them all!