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finally left-vent-update

member1234l's picture

Submitted by member1234l on Tue, 01/05/2016 - 1:51pm

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Bio Child Free Zone

Got so tired of being ignored, not being a priority, having him sleep on the couch every night or in his daughters bed with her whenever she is over, instead of with me. also, got sick of having his friend as a roommate, whom he talked to on a daily basis and went and did things with, meanwhile, i was the 3rd wheel and was rarely invited or talked to, even when i offered to pay or invited him out with me! he showed zero interest in me, yet never cared to actually kick me out, which was strange (i assume he was just taking advantage of having me around). i tried talking to him over and over again, but his interests, friends, drinking/smoking pot, netflix/video games, and his career plans always took priority over me. i was tired of having separate family holidays every year, not knowing when his kid would be over and when she wouldn't, tired of being ignored by his mother, and her only interest being his kid. got tired of waiting for an actual marriage and family of my own. i finally had it, I got my own apt and moved. it's surreal. i can't believe i did it. :jawdrop: we were together for 6yrs. in our early thirties now. as i was packing to leave he called me some names and told me the only reason i was leaving was because i wanted to sleep with someone else. couldn't be further from the truth. and he also told me i would never accomplish any of my goals and that i have done nothing but waste HIS time. and that he hated me and never wanted to see me again. he then demanded the house key.

Freedom feels strange now, not bad, just different. Dirol

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Tue, 01/05/2016 - 2:25pm

I cancelled a wedding about 2 months beforehand - I just couldn't go through with it. He married the woman he was cheating with (that I knew nothing about) two weeks later.

I did not know about his marriage for several months (different cities) but he would call me late at night for months crying because if I was out on a date I must be screwing every man in town. Pathetic. I went out 2-3-4 nights a week with different guys - NONE of whom was I having sex with.

CatchyUserName's picture

Submitted by CatchyUserName on Tue, 01/05/2016 - 5:18pm

Good job!
I've been viewing this site for a couple of years now and actually made an account so I could respond to your post. I just want to encourage you to stay strong. It might feel different now but it will increasingly feel better and more liberating as time goes on. I divorced in my early 30s (after being with him for 10 years) from someone who sounds similar. The hardest part is leaving, I promise it just gets better and better. Get a group of good girlfriends who can help support you emotionally and enjoy life. You are stronger than you think, being single can be super fun and waiting for that person that doesn't treat you like a piece of furniture is worth it. Smile

Adinah's picture

Submitted by Adinah on Tue, 01/12/2016 - 8:28am

Good for you!
Sometimes the things people lash out with are the things they are reflecting on themselves. He's scared he'll never accomplish his goals and he knows it.
Go do your thing!

ExArmydad's picture

Submitted by ExArmydad on Wed, 01/13/2016 - 1:29pm

Awesome, this is amazing!!! So happy for you to see your way out of that crappy situation. Now use his negative words against him. I once had a girlfriend that told me I'd amount to nothing and some other awesome choice words about me as we were breaking up. I used that as fuel to push myself to be better and I did.
I saw her several years later at the mall with my beautiful wife & kids and she was still the same ol person and doing the same ol crap. I felt so good about myself when she looked at me and her eyes got all big seeing me with my family. It was sweet!
Unless you move, you will bump into him at some point and I hope you life is amazing to rub it in.

It even happened to my wife, a couple weeks ago we ran across her ex boyfriend and we happened to be dressed professionally because it was a work day and I was looking sharp and she was beautiful. He looked homeless and was riding a bike. She was so happy! lol