My son is now 23, but years ago, I was in a 7 year relationship (lived together 3 of the 7 years) with a man who had a son 5 years younger than mine. My son hated this child! He pretty much couldn't stand my bf either and it ended up really affecting him in the long run. My boy was 9 when this relationship started and he was an open, happy kid. That slowly changed. When I finally got out of the relationship and looked back, I really regretted hanging on to it for so long. I wish I had been more aware and receptive to what my son was feeling; I just thought he needed to learn to share and get over any anger he had about the situation. I was wrong. My son was hurting and I just didn't handle it the way I should have. He suffered and changed because of it. I should have either gotten out of the relationship or got counseling for us all.

It sounds like you are in a terrible situation, and maybe you should step back and take a breather. Maybe go ahead and get a place of your own and see how things fall into place.

(((stephtrey))) Hope things get better soon for you.

I went through a similar situation with my oldest son. He was 9 at the time as well. We went from having a very peaceful home to a completely chaotic household - 2 kids to 5 kids. He wanted to go live with my mom. So I sat him down and asked what really bothered him that he wanted to move away from me and his little brother. I had to drag it out of him but he didn't like that I turned my basement - where he played the computer - into another bedroom. He didn't like that he couldn't have alone time anymore. So my solution, I put up a temporary wall in my basement so there was another "room" where he could play the computer and he gets to stay the night at my mom's house every Thursday to get his "alone time".
Compromise.

Children tend to be very dramatic, SD10 wanted to trade her youngest sister for a dog and literally cried when I told her no. Talk it out with the little buddy. The first months when you blend families is the hardest, they didn't get to choose their situation - it was made for them and it's tough. As far as the skids, maybe they are suffering from the change as well, hence the disruptive behavior. They need to learn to have "inside voices".

For what it's worth my kids and skids absolutely adore each other now. SD8 and BS8 are literally best friends and when she's around my BS8 quits pestering his poor older brother.

CG, it's really great you got to the bottom of the problem. I never did with my son, except that the child annoyed him, and he had to share me with him. It never got better for us, just worse. I used to wonder if it was the age. My parents divorced when I was 11 and my mom remarried when I was 12 and my brother was 10. I had no problem with my new step-dad, step brother, and eventually a half-sister, but boy my brother did. He hated and resented all of them for a very, very long time.

Stephtrey, maybe you can find a compromise that your son can live with. It's a great suggestion. I wish you the best!!!

My son was almost four when I married my husband and he went from being an only child to being the youngest of four children. One short wedding left him with a new daddy, a new brother and two new sisters. It was hugely overwhelming and he struggled a lot at first. The other three were used to having other children around, but not my son. He was used to being the center of the universe. I could tell when he needed his "alone time" and I made sure he got plenty of it when he needed it. I let him go in his room or our room and shut the door to play alone, watch TV alone, read alone, whatever he wanted to do alone. Sometimes, just giving him an hour or so of "alone time" helped him to destress and not feel so overwhelmed. I also made sure he had plenty of time with just me, where I was focused on him. It's been six years now, we've given him another sibling (baby sister) and he doesn't mind it when we have a full house. He still gets to where he needs his time alone, but I think everyone needs that. Sometimes we forget that kids are just small people and ALL people need alone time to decompress.

I have to say, though, that if I couldn't resolve this issue, I'd move out before I let my kid(s) leave me.

~ Anne ~

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Good Advise! We send the kids to their granparents one at a time once a month... and we have them once at a time once a month. They need that sense of SELF. SS was an only child and still is at his moms so coming home to us is totally different for him. Most of the time he wants to play with his sisters, but sometimes he just wants to be alone. He will go in his room and shut the door and just PLAY... then you have to remember that one on one time with each kid is so important. Even if it is just playing in their room with them for an hour just you and ONE kids at a time. They need that bond, and frankly, so do we!

Daddys Gurl

It's Better To Have Loved And Lost, Than To Have Spent The Rest Of My Life With THAT PSYCHO!!!!