Be careful what you wish for you just might get it!
Oh where do I begin? I am the step Mom to 3 boys, ages 4,7 and 9. The two oldest live with us fulltime as does my 9 yr old son.We have only lived together for 5 months now and I am ready to run for the hills! I have NEVER been in a house where the volume level is on deafening all day and by that I mean his boys YELL ALL DAY! The 7 year old has issues, his Mother and his Dad have said he needs to go to a doctor for help with his tantrums but so far my husband has not called. He feels guilty and he doesn't want anyone to blame it on him or the divorce so I am stuck with this child who has severe meltdowns at least 8 times aday. The older SS has an entitlement issue and wants everything everyone else has and will yell until he gets it from his Dad.
My son doesn't want to live with us anymore because he can't handle the noise and I am trying really hard not to want to leave also! I love my husband but I don't know if I can survive the kids.
more>>>
I am overwhelmed. I went from having my own home with 2 fairly independant kids to living with my husband and his very needy boys! I have never done so much laundry or dishes or cleaning and have almost no time for myself or to just spend with my son. Some days I actually have to lock myself in our room to get away from my step kids! I feel horrible about it but I don't know what else to do! I am starting to think my son and I just don't fit in with the way they live and it makes me sad because my husband and I are great when we are without his kids. I just don't want to deal with them anymore......help????
Its all about Give and Take....
Okay, the whole yelling thing is not acceptable and your dh needs to put a stop to that.... the constant LOUD volume would drive anyone crazy.
In order for your families to successfully blend there needs to be give and take from both sides and major compromising.
For instance, when I met my dh I was a CLEAN FREAK... literally a freak.... I sanitized my children's toys once a week, vacumed behind them as they played, and followed them around with a can of Lysol... crazy, I know...
My two kids are clean, organized and they like order (as do I).
When I met my dh he and his two kids were a filthy mess! He had dogs... tons of dogs and they were dirty and smelly and infested with fleas.... hes been a hunter since he could hold a gun and he had elk heads and horns hung all over the walls.... his laundry was never folded, he had a dirty pile and a clean pile and every morning he spent almost an hour looking for clothes for himself and the kids because nothing was ever put away! You couldn't open the door to my sd's bedroom, much less walk in because the room was COVERED in toys... Nothing had a place... they were living in a big pig-pen.
Needless to say there was a lot of compromise and meeting in the middle.... I got rid of all but one of his dogs....
HOW did I do that? I told his ex (bb) that I wanted the dogs.... as soon as she thought that I wanted them they became all important to her and she took them! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Now DH takes his shoes and muddy pants off at the door but I'm also okay with a little bit of dirt.
I still freak from time to time when things are out of place of the house gets a little dirty, but now DH and all of the kids chip in an do their part to keep things tidy.... Its not just as I want it... but its good enough and everyone is happy.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned"
-Budda
I forgot...
Now theres ONE Elk head/horn wall...
DH got to pick the wall, and pick a group of stuff to hang.... then I got to arrange how they would be displayed.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned"
-Budda