Did you feel like you sold yourself into slavery?
I do. It was maybe more like slavery with a dowery to boot, sort of " I am madly in love with you so I'll give you all that I have, money included, take on your kids, bring you into my home that you resent because its mine and not yours because I refuse to put your name on title because I have owned it for 20 years and you are not that great with money anyway and you don't work, support you fully, pay for flights back and forth so that they can visit their dad and in return you treat me like crap, take advantage of my love, and couldn't care less about the values that I am teaching your kids that you won't."
Basically I do feel like a slave. I do everything and get nothing in return but snide comments from my spouse who tells me not to be too hard on her little lazy waste of space. I actually feel sorry for my SD. She has had no direction in life and is almost 12 years old. Self care is horrible. She smells. Lazy. Messy. Thick as shite. IF it wasn't for me, honestly, she would still not know how to do the things that most girls her age know how to do. When I came into her life she had no skills at all. Left things all over the place. No rules. No obligations to pick up after herself or wash a dish. As time goes on I see that my spouse doesn't like to pick up either and is lazy. So it runs in the family. I have become resentful and embittered. I am parenting a child that had never been properly parented and its draining. And its thankless. And sometimes I think that my spouse and her kids would be better off on their own; that way, they wouldn't have to have any rules or responsibilities. But then they wouldn't have me ( ahem...I mean my money) and that would not be ideal (for them).
Sorry its a bit of a rant but I am just having one of those days where I am totally sick of this shite and wish I never would have gotten myself into this mess. I honestly went into this with an open heart, tons of love and a great attitude. Now I just feel........used.
Slaves had no say/choice in
Slaves had no say/choice in their lives. Not only are you making the choice to live your life this way, you are paying someone to treat you like crap. You have the power to end this at any time.
we all make choices according
we all make choices according to what we see as a payoff. its a tradeoff in many ways. no step situation is perfect and compromises of all sorts are requires.
each person makes a dicision for himself.
You do have some control over
You do have some control over your own life and can make the decision to not do this anymore. It's up to you.
The ages are off but you
The ages are off but you could be my skids Stepdad! I don't know HOW that man does it!
And you tolerate their toxic
And you tolerate their toxic presences in your life why? Call a locksmith, rekey the locks, put their shit on the curb, hand STBXW two one way bus tickets far away from you, move on with your life.
Blessedly my experiment in saving toxic rescue brides was relatively short, involved no children, and left me firmly back in touch with the Rags I like being. I will never tolerate that crap from myself or anyone else again.
So... for 21 years I have been married to my amazing bride who blessed me by making dad to her young son. Now he is mine, lock, stock, barrel, papers, and all.
Tolerate no toxic crap... particularly from the person you have blessed by sharing your life. ZERO tolerance and your marital situation is way beyond salvage IMHO. Why would you even want to tolerate it or salvage it? I wouldn't were I you.
Move on, purge the shit, be happy.