The more time goes on and the more I am in this situation, I recognize how powerless I am in my own relationship.

"Show me a little girl who wanted to grow up to be a step mother, and I will show you a liar/unicorn/fable/any other bullshit we all know is not true." This resonates SO DEEPLY with me because we as step mothers are expected to be perfect motherly types, all Colgate smiles and thankful-for-my-life acceptance, with the patience of mother Theresa and selflessness of Jesus. Lest we be mistaken for an EVIL STEPMOTHER, the heartless, cold bitch who cannot love someone else's child. This hellish demon of a woman does not deserve any pity, empathy or understanding from society because we are supposed to have "known what we are getting into" or be mature enough to "get over it".

I wish people understood how unfair this is, to put all the expectations of a mother on a woman who (in my case) might not even have children of her own. Who might have had the best intentions when she met a man, who had a child, and she wanted to be the best SM she could.. before she learned about the manipulation and deceit and lack of morality these BM could have. The bullshit games they play and control they will ALWAYS have over the lives of the step-parent, they will always be involved with their x (your spouse) either at PTA meetings, sports events, or arguing over Christmas.

How difficult it is to be a stepmother! It's the BIGGEST thankless job out there.. they say a mother is thankless? At least your child is YOURS. A stepmother is expected to love another human's child, out of the sole reason they love the parent. You tell me that's not fucking thankless.

And amidst the waist-deep shit stepmothers tolerate from BMs, should we ever, ever, EVER open our mouths and squeak an iota of grievance, we are CRUEL HARD HEARTED WITCHES with NO RIGHT at all to feel what we feel. The poor, sad, blameless, deserted, innocent child? How could you not consider their feelings?

I'll tell you how. Because being a step parent is a soul sucking dream crushing job full of thankless demand. That I get less respect out of this kid than I do my employer. That this is a job that NO ONE would want. But this is the only place I could ever say that.