She thought she could... so she did
I've made the choice to leave. I've set a date of June 1, 2015 - relocating out of province. I need 6 mos to save up cash and tie up all my loose ends, find work, find a place to live.
I'm scared. I'm a tough woman and I'm not afraid to be on my own. But this is a bigger endeavor simply for the fact that I live in a very small community, which is gossipy and judgmental. I'm already an "outsider" having moved here for my spouse - surely my choice to leave will become a witch hunt.
Planning on doing everything as quietly as I can in order to get my ducks in a row. But when do I tell my spouse?? As soon as I give notice at my work (I was planning on giving 4 weeks), my spouse will hear about it through the grapevine... cos that's how everyone is in this piddly shit town.
MY life will become a living hell of insults, barbs and verbal abuse from my spouse if he finds out my plan. I need suggestions. How have any of you done it??
- Lady Danger's blog
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Don't quit your job until all
Don't quit your job until all your ducks are in a row. Wait until the last week of May, but in your weeks notice and tell him as soon as he asks about why you quit your job, by then you will only have a few days left there and it won't be so bad. If you're worried about him becoming physically violent, don't even give a notice, the day you pack up and get out, that's the day you quit. Good luck and God bless you.
Not quitting and time frame
Not quitting and time frame advice, and your in Canada and I'm in the states, laws may differ, but as far a money goes here in the states:
Travelers checks are property of the person listed on the check. If you take money out of a joint account and purchase a travelers check with it, its no longer joint property, its yours.
Maybe good advice, maybe not. I wish you all the luck and strength!
How much vacation/sick time
How much vacation/sick time can you save up between now and then? You could use some of it for your notice. Also, do you trust any of your bosses to be discreet? Could you tell just one of them the situation and ask them to keep it quiet? Or alternatively could you pretend that you have a new job to your husband/coworkers lined up and that is the reason why you are quitting?
Also, go back over your employment contract, what would you loose if you didn't give notice, can you afford to not receive your final pay check? Do you think any of your coworkers would be sympathetic to you not giving notice once they know the reason and still give you a good reference?
No advice to add but I am
No advice to add but I am glad that you've made this choice for yourself. You do deserve better.
Good for you! You will be
Good for you!
You will be fine! You are a strong woman and deserve a wonderful life!
Spend the time pairing down to the absolute essentials. You may find that you need to take very little with you.
Perhaps you will walk out the door with a suitcase and your dignity.
And that will be enough.
Have some yard sales and get rid of anything that would only serve to remind you of this unfortunate bump in the road.
Keep calm and carry on!