Well, my fear has come close to coming true, but so far, I have been lucky.

Had my DH and I not had an agreement that no other adults live with us, he would have probably let his daughter, her husband and her 2 kids move in with us. And now, her husband has left her so, I guess I got lucky again, as she is living with her mother. But I know my DH would so love to be the knight in shining armor.

I would rather set myself on fire than live with SD & Company.

If I were you, I would be discussing with your DH what everybody's expectations are and what will or will not be acceptable.

I told DH when skids were still in elementary school that SD and BM would butt heads when she was a teen and that she would get pregnant at a young age and BM would dump her on our doorstep.

Well, it kind of came true. BM kicked SD out to "go live with her dad until she turned 18" when she was 15. That lasted three days then she called and threatened to call the police if DH didn't return SD.

SD got pregnant and had her first when she was 16. But BM didn't dump her on us. Instead, she figured out a way to make her GRANDchild profitable TOO! I despise people who use kids just for the money.

DH's two sons could not have turned out worse. drugs, alcohol, gangs, jail, murder accomplice.

But I met DH after they were adults and had zero expectations that anything would improve. One is now dead. So I really have no fear of things getting worse.

I own our home (no mortgage) and the finances are 100% in my name. I have no fear of a skid or a grandskid ever moving in because I would NEVER allow that under any circumstances. I would not even take in a pet of theirs.

I honestly don't worry about SS27. I do not wish him ill at all. But if he drops dead I would not mourn him. Unfortunately his life is almost certainly not going to have a happy ending.

Mine is coming true. The Princesses are both living off of mom and dad. They are both driving brand new cars, insurance and car payments paid in full. Neither is working. 24 year old cost her mom and dad around $50,000 2 years ago with a dui and accident, ended up with 2 felonies, youngest 18 just finished her first year of college, supposedly she was supposed to have a B average, got a C average, took minimum of classes just to be considered a full time student. Neither one has paid a dime for their legal issues or college and rent. 18 year has never worked a day. Yea...they haven't disappointed me as far as my expectations for them.

My fear came true a couple of years ago, when the CS ended. BM kicked SD out and that's when SD finally decided it was time for her to live with her Dadddeee. I didn't expect it and was overwhelmed at first when she came. I really went into a depression, I hid in my room, I cried all the time, it really sucked.

Then one day something changed, I disengaged. I decided I wasn't going to let this little girl affect me, after all she's not my kid, she's not my problem. I let her Father worry about anything to do with her and I went about living my life.

SD decided life with us wasn't exactly what she thought it was going to be, and went back from where she came. I was sad for DH, but on the inside I was glowing, I'm sure he could see.

My husband's mother removed his daughter from our home when she was 7-8. She didn't want her younger grandchild (who was 2+, didn't speak a word, and had never been potty trained) and MiL keeps and iron grip on her sons and husband. (I had a really hard time tryingto explain, nicely, why MawMaw wanted his sister and not him, too, dammit.) She is now is a nursing home because she refuses to get up and use the bathroom on her own (who enforces their own laziness to the point that someone else must wash her a$$?) Anyway, SD decided to run everyone's lives from that early age (no, my husband refused to insist his mother return his child, especially since there was someone who gave a damn inthe house with them) and the MiL was prone to say thing like, "I think she is old enough to know if she needs a coat!" when I called to ask why a 7 year old kid was standing in 26 degree weather with nothing on but shorts and a polo shirt - I should have just bailed out then.

Cut to today: After missing 36 days in 9th grade, 42 in 10th, SD dropped out of HS with her grandmother's permission (although the lies they told to get there were anything but believable) since at 17 (in SC) she could do so legally. The MiL and SD ran their family into bankruptcy, dropped out of HS (as I said before), and then got pregnant (and still hasn't even got a driver's license, muchless a diploma or, god forbid! a J-O-B. She and her BF (presumably the baby's father - no one is really sure) are now planningto be married this coming Saturday, but we believe it's because he is not a very truthful person (he also has a felony theft arrest onhis record. Yay!) and because it will increase their food stamps, give them money for housing/food, and they will be close to her biological mother (who, by the way, after all the years she just left her kids behind to party, NEVER showed up to visit unless I threatened her with physical violence, even at Xmas!) The bio mom is an expert at working the system - she gaveup custody of her own kids and then proceeded to adopt her eldest son's (not my husband's child, but from a previous marriage) GF to increase her food stamps and insure her medical benefits wouldn't be interrupted. The SD told me they were getting married LAST Saturday, and the only reason she mentioned it to me was to ask if I knew of a venue they could get into on such short notice. Her dad nor brother are included (I didn't expect I would be, and wasn't, but I think that was because I didn't offer to spend money or make anything for her wedding. When I texted and suggested she ask her brother to walk her down the 'aisle,' she informed me that her mom and dad would have to work it out (her dad hadn't a clue, so how could there be a conflict?) But she still hasn't invited us. In fact, the ONLY time we ever hear from them is if they want something - money, her dad to work on their car, etc.

Too long a story shorter, we have no idea when their little 'weddding' will happen, if we are even invited, or if they even have a place to live! The BF's parents have never been inside the house in which they are living, and they don't have a car or any other security aside from state/federal assistance (the SD has been taught by her grandmother that they are, and I quote, " ...Entitlted to have someone pay our bills for the rest of our lives." So, aside from feeling so slighted - *I* wanted this girl, and I love her desperately despite the awful things they've said and done to me - about the 'wedding,' I am worried that these kids have no idea that living in a house that is filled with urine and feces (the grandmother was hospitalized with E-Coli from exposure to her own mess, and her entire body is covered with a yeast infection from sitting, day after day, in her own waste) is a DANGER to their now 5-month old child! They can't even put her on the floor, so chances are her physical development will be way behind, to say the very least.

But what about the wedding? Her father and I have done everything we can, including calling the county's school truancy office, but no one would do anything, and the grapevine says the SD has physically abused the MiL (her grandmother) more than once. WE were the ones who wanted her to move back in, have a clean house, and a decent life - we wanted her with us because we love her!! Now, we don't even know where, when, or what's going on with the wedding. The SD refuses to allow us to see my hubby's granddaughter, and they say they plan to move more than anhour away - further from us, but closer to her mother and the rest of the bunch who have become experts scamming the system so they don't have to work. If they move, we will NEVER be allowed to see the baby,which I would bet is a planned thing, since the baby cleqrly knows and adores her Poppy and I (after nearly 15 years together, they still just call me, "The neighbor.")

I am so upset I don't know what to do! My fears came true, yes they did: SD dropped out of school, got pregnant before she was 18, and now thinks it is someone else's responsibility to pay their bills. She has no ambition to be anything better than her drug-addicted mother or her manipulative grandmother (who has made being sick an art form to get attention), so where does that leave that precious little baby? Living in any craphole her slacker mother can find. I'll bet money they start raising pitbulls since that's what you do when you get illegal government assistance in SC, right?

I don't know what to do. Chances are, we will get a text message sometime Friday or Saturday (my husband works all but Sundays) telling us what time we are to be summoned to their presence. Hubby and I don't have money to pay for any part of this fiasco, and am not sure which fool did, but should we feel obligated to go, or what? We likely have casual clothing for the event (someone bought the precious little SD a dress of some sort) but her father, brother and I have been excluded, very obviously. I'm afraid if we don't go we will never get to see the baby again, but when the inevtiable text comes, how do we deal with it? I don't want to have to 'pay' to see our grandchild,, but what choice do we have now?

Any advice would be appreciated. I am at my wit's end, and if hubby doesn't grow some nuts he's going to have to get them out of his mom's purse before I will have anything further to do with him. What do I do?!?

40 yr.old SD has never worked...supported by Dad. She now has 2 kids and a husband and guess what...her Dad helps support the whole family. Thank goodness they live far away, but, unfortunately come to visit for 4 weeks every summer. During this time, Dad takes the princess on vacation wherever she wants, pays for summer camps for the kids, pays for her car maintenance, new clothes for the kids, etc, etc. The daughter's husband seems to have won the lottery when he married her. They both feel a sense of entitlement. Sad, but, true.
When Dad goes to visit them, he is the one that has to take them out to lunch and dinner everyday...a home cooked meal for a dad that does everything for them would be a nice gesture. In fact, a phone call from daughter to Dad on father's day would also be a nice gesture...instead he gets a "dad, so sorry I forgot to call you on father's day."

Simple answer from me ..... Yes.!!

I have two Adult Sloth Skids, both DH has supported after CS finished. I wondered around 7 years ago when they were teens and old enough to work a Summer job etc, just what was going to happen. BM was quite happy to take the money and ship them over to DH EVERY weekend, while DH paid CS and all the " extras " which were always asked for. I thought we were heading down a rocky road, they are lazy and entitled. Still no jobs, one has finished further courses at 23 and has been refused all the new courses she applied for , so is clearly running out of excuses and must, GASP, get a job. ASS 2 is now in the third year of " looking " for work, so unless a job falls directly on them quite by accident, this is their future.......