I can't believe I am back here after a loooong break of a few years .I left this forum shortly after I broke up with my ex who was a disney dad with a mini wife, lol. Anyway, I am with a lovely (relatively normal Smiling) man since quite a while now and we will get married in October!! He has 5 lovely kids , all grown up and left.Two of my boys (12 and 15) live with us most of the time (adore him) whereas my dd is nearly 20 and lives with her bf.
So, the issue are NOT his kids or mostly not his behaviour but his disgraceful daughter in law (his oldest sons partner).Even before I met his whole family, my future DH told me how wonderful his oldest and his gf are.Soooo sucessful and doing so well.So I was really looking forward to meet them a few years ago.Especially her , since he spoke so fond of her and how desperately she wanted to meet me.Huh.All bullshit.Even the first time I saw her, she was trouble.You know, one of these embarrassing moments where you run up to someone to greet that person and you get the icey looks and the cold shoulder.That arready really confused me but in the month to come she turned out to be exactly the way she came across the first moment.I tried so many times having a nice conversation , reaching out to her, but she ignored me just to a point where other ones could not visibly notice it , but it was clear to me she didn't wanted me there.A few month in the relationship Itried to bring it up with DH , and he only told me she would be "defensive of the family", which confused me as she is not more of a family member than me.What does give her the right to be like that .It almost felt she was jealous and I stole her position in his family, which is sick.to be honest she is quite overweight and I might have been a threat.Whatever.Since DH and his oldest are really close i happened a few tmes that we went away with them on short holidays and I felt it got harder and harder to cope with the situation.She gets always very physical with DH , hanging on him , excessively hugging etc.and I feel this is out of place.Now you will ask me , how DH reacts.Sadly enough he played her game for a long time returning the hugs and patting her head etc until I told him I find it deeply inappropriate.He got offended (since he feels it is innocent) but slowly got better in considering my feelings.At least sometimes.
We have moved to a beautiful new place now and when she comes over I feel she wants to put her fingers into everything here, it feels as if she wants to be me, hard to explain.She helps herself in my kitchen, asked me for the entry code to get in (she is so direct and upfront me idiot gave it to her , but will change that code, gosh!!!!).I feel VERY uncomfortable when she is there.I feel especially bad because my DH still doesn't see it the way I see it and I am worried he will not back me up if I need to put her back in her place.
But the worst thing is to come.And at the end of the day it proved that she is exactly as bad as I knew she was, but she camouflages it usually well when others are there.
We had on the weekend a BIG housewarming and birthday party (my birthday) here.Lots of guests, friends and some clients.Anyway, everyone had a great time , a litle band played, people were dancing.She was there, too.Her bf , DHs son felt sick and went home early, but she stayed.She got drunk and really promiscous towards most of the man on the party, omg.It got so bad that she started to dance in the middle of the room, lifted up her dress and showed all the men her XXXl butt with her tanga .Since she is not the most attractive girl, she didn't get the attention she expected, so she kept on dancing lasively and facing directly my DH and turning then to lift her dress again.I felt so sick, he just laughed and turned away and hugged me.
You have to understand that inspite of people being drunk and a little silly, nobody was so unclassy and horrible.I was so mortified.Anyway, YES, it got worse.Some people left so she followed them , ran up our stairs where a glas window can be seen from the entrance area.When I went to farewell the guest and turned around I saw her sticking her fat naked butt against that window for DH and all other man to see it,it was simply horrible.
so when she came down and tried to hang on DHs neck again I approached her and asked her for boundaries which made her whinge that she enjoyed the party until that moment.And whinged I told her to leave, which I didnt.My god.What shall I do???????