Okay - Here is what I plan to do so far
First, I spoke too soon when I said the SD wasn't showing up for the mower. She just called H and made arrangements to come for it at 1 tomorrow afternoon. Yeah, I know. But the mower is a real piece of junk so we want it out and this way WE err I don't have to pay someone to haul it away.
Secondly, I made it VERY CLEAR that I do not want her in the house PERIOD. I do not want her in the garage PERIOD. and I want her and Lard Butt and Sock Puppet off my property ASAP. The piece of junk mower is 1/2 way down the driveway now so there is no reason to come further. If any of them have to use the bathroom, TOO BAD.
Meanwhile, H has been fluttering around me all day. He just can't do enough. He actually did 2, count them 2, loads of laundry, dried and FOLDED them!!! WOW!!! AND he even made dinner tonight!
I have had a splitting headache and upset stomach for 2 days now and he is oh so concerned. How bad is it, do you want to go to the ER? Honestly, that nonsense is starting to tee me off.
But I still feel betrayed and
But I still feel betrayed and that is the tough thing to deal with.
So I am going to see the lawyer and talk about how to defend my assest and my mariatal assets outsied of a will from the SD and what is going on. And I will talk about H's somewhat dementia and how SD tried to get him to change his will at the hospital that time, how she has stolen from me etc. Wills are one thing but there may more I can legally do to protect ME.
Like you all advise PROTECT ME.
Forgive me if I jump around because this is all pretty much to take in much less deal with.
Right, now, as I see it, the
Right, now, as I see it, the marriage is over. I am 78 and he is 86. Divorce is an option but at our ages would be very tough on both of us. So if I choose to stick around it will be in name only and with financial things well wrapped up so SD cannot change it in any way. I have over 30 years in this marriage and I am certainly not going to let SD benefit as she so wants to.
Wise choice, imho.
Wise choice, imho.
RAegarding help that 2Tired
RAegarding help that 2Tired referred me to. Wow! There is so much to take in and I don't even understand what some of those agency could do or would do to help us. BUT (and this is a good but) I have it down to go and talk to our County Health Dept. and see if they can help me navigate this road.
One last thing. He went out and took down the box he thought was my pictures. It wasn't. Obviuosly he can't read because the box is well marked NO 9, Frustrated's Family Pictures. So he is going back out to the garage tonight and see if he can find, see it. I could point it out to him, but heck, let him find it and keep looking until he does. Right now he is gong to find that tote even if it takes him forever.
He knows he is on very thin ice with me and that I have had it.
One final comment about the mower. At first I thought she might be too embarassed to show her face around here again. Evidently not, the smell of a free mower for lard baby does it every time. Something for nothing. One thing she has is chutzpa (if I spelled that right). The best thing is that the joke will be on her and lard as the mower is a piece of garbage, needs lots of work, over 20 years old. After she gets that I doubt we will hear from her for a long time. No one would even take it last year when we had it up by the street with a free sign in front of it. As my neighbor told me last year, no one wants old riding mower because they are so expensive to fix up.
You see she actually heard me call her a liar and say that I knew she stole the piece. Daddy didn't stick up for her as he would have done in the past by trying to stop me from saying something like that. You can bet she noticed that especially after she proclaimed (he had her on speaker phone) IS she (meaning me) screaming at me? And H didn't stop me, did nothing, even repeated to her what I had said, verbatium, when she claimed she didn't understand me (another tactic). AND H never charged the battery up for even though she brought up the battery charger. Told her he didn't have time.
So sorry you're going through
So sorry you're going through this, but you are doing the right thing by looking after yourself. Do whatever it is you need to do to protect yourself, find peace, and keep the filthy thief away from you and your home.
That you Mia.
That you Mia.
I want to be calm and factual so I am typing up notes of things for lawyer. You know the saying, act in haste, repent in leisure.
Also, I never asked him were he went that night he stormed out. Never said a word about it. My guess he is probably wondering why I haven't inquired he was probably figuring I would be oh so upset and glad to see him when he came back. The only reason I checked up at the hotel to see if he was there was because I know I would feel awful if anything had happened to him in driving, etc. If he wasns't there I planned to calll police and tell them that he shouldn't be driving etc.
This way if anything happened because he can't drive at night etc., I had at least tried to do something. I think you know what I am trying to say. After that I went to bed and had no trouble sleeping through the night. The situation wasn't of my making.
The most important thing is
The most important thing is that you take care of YOU. The headache and upset stomach may be from stress. Stress can manifest itself in awful ways; none of which are good for you. I wish I could sit in your driveway with a Supersoaker and hose down any if them that put one toe past that damn mower.
Aniki - I wish you could be
Aniki - I wish you could be there to do that too. In fact I took her battery charger and put it out by the cruddy mower tonight (H doesn know) and if someone steals it I don't .
After all, SD, who stole that sundial and now claims 1. She never had it, and 2. it got broke never, ever said she was sorry. It was like too bad, so sad. But that is typial from self-centered greedy people.
Stress is a killer. Do not let them kill you with the stress.
I applaud your going for their throats calmly, in a regimented manner, and engaging all of the agencies that can support you in all of this.
If you stay, make sure that you and you alone are entirely in control of everything. While I do not wish that your DH has a life ending health crisis, if you stay, do so to both protect yourself and your DH from his noxious spawn and the GSKid/GSpawn.
Get the authorities so far up SD's ass that they will be able to inspect her teeth from back side.
Manage this and pull SD's teeth so that the only way she can get anything out of your DH is to gum it out.
Be kind to yourself and take care of you.
Thanks Rage.
Thanks Rage.
H has no idea what I have planned and what I am working on and I intend to keep it that way.
I have barely spoken to him and purposefully not stayed in the same room as him. I have nothing to say to him. He, on the other hand, is fluttering all over - can I get you something, oh don't get up, I'll get you that glass of milk. Are you okay, what's wrong, do we need to call the doc. or go to the ER. HE knows he is on thin ice. I never asked him where he went that not, never mentioned it, nothing. Of course he is not volunteering info either.because I know he thinks, I think he went down to SD and I would be upset if he admitted that..
When I see these agencies and the lawyer I am going to tell them about the monetary advances of the SD on H especially re. the will at the time he was i the hospital. How she is alway asking for things free and basically pushes to get them. Especially how she has stolen from us. And that we just have our SS and finite savings at this point in time. How she has never given us anytahing or help $$ or otherwise. That he tends to defend her and give in so what can I do to protect my interests in this marriage out side of just the will.
You know how they talk about narcisistic people being grandiose? Here is a real good example. There was a time after I had knee surgery where she actuall volunteered to help H out rather than him getting outside help. TKR is brutal especially the first few months. We were both surprised.
Everytime she said she was coming up she would cancel. But to me the best one was when she called one day and cancels - "It is because I care so much about you & Frustrated that I am not coming by with this cold." A look, aren't I great and caring because I am staying away because I have a cold, pat me on the back, I am so caring and wonderful. It is always a look at me aren't I great that I am or might do this for you.
The one tme of the three days she was suppose to help H, she was expected at 9 didn't show up until 11 and had to leave for something else by 12. H told her not to bother any more which she squealed about how much we needed her help. He never told her that he couldn't count on her. She wasn't interest in helping us out, she was interested in making it LOOK like she was going to help out.
We could have gotten outside help through the hospital quicker if she hadn't "volunteered".
Rage! Lol. That is accurate to what this subhuman hell spawn
Rage! Lol. That is accurate to what this subhuman hell spawn does to you creates in me. And in you I am sure.
Take care of you frustrated78.
Regards,
Rags
Keep us in your head,
Keep us in your head, cheering you on, backing you up, standing along wide you. We are the voices in your head!
It's such a gosh golly gee darn shame you're "too sick to let sluggo and his weirdly criminal mommy into your house, garage, anywhere but the drivway cough cough cough."
And when he comes in singing their praises, be a shame if you cut him off or ignored his praise for his evil spawn and grandspawn.
What my main concern with is
What my main concern with is our IRA accounts. I know that as long as H worked and had a 401k, I had to be the beneficiary because I was his wife and this is the law to keep someone from feezing out the spouse.
But now that they are IRA accounts I am not so certain. That would probably be where SD will start going after.To get her name on those as beneficiary. She can't get at the house or car, etc. And I don't trust her, or him at this stage, dementia be damned.
And the fact that she has already tried for his will AND I have documented her actions on this and the thievery with my Doc last summer and told him she scared the begesus out of me. So there is a record which is good. Believe me when I say you don't know the half of it.