NOTE, Note, NOte - Something Good Came Out of this Blow-Up
Years back SD stole something from me that had great sentimental value. I knew she took it, H knows she took it and SD knew that we knew she took it. This she denied having for years even when I confronted her about it.
When I would confront her, H would always step in and back her up, she didn't take it. I was wrong it was somewhere in the garage from our move.
I'm old but I am not stupid.
Well, since my blow-up back at him today things on that have moved and it is a surprise.
Being upset I brought that issue up with him asked him what kind of person would take and keep something they knew had great value to me. He gave his usual, she doesn't have it, she says she doesn't have it, I am greedy, etc.
BUT, and here IT IS
This afternoon he called her and actually asked her to return it to me because it had sentimental value to me. It is from a friend of 65 years and was given to me when I bought my first house on my own after a divorce. He knew that she had it (that is the first time he has ever said that to either me, or to her).
Guess what? Seems H got to her because she claims she that, after all my asking her about it, confronting her and telling, her it meant something to me, she is going to return it. IF she can find it as it is put away for the winter. She claims to never have known it mattered to me, which is BS. When it disappeared she had asked me for it and I said NO, that it had sentimental value to me because of who gave it to me. That was the day it disappeared - what a coincidence.
No tote yet, but there is hope in sight. LOL!
Now, while I am pleased to
Now, while I am pleased to hear this it really means nothing until I actually get it back. Talk is cheap.
FINALLY!!! H finally faced the fact that she took it after years of telling me she didn't. Point here is that he could have done this, backed me up, 11 years ago but never did. Instead he chose to say she didn't have it (she would tell him and me that). They were both gaslighting me for years about this issue. Which certainly upsets me that H would do that.
Funny, perhaps in his old age and health issues he gets the message that it is ME, his loving wife, that is going to take proper care of him; not his greedy daughter. Perhaps the threat of throwing his sorry butt out made him decide it was time to stop gaslighting me on this particular matter.
Though there are several other things she has five fingered off with including jewelry.
What is this item? It is a
What is this item? It is a very, very large brass sundial my best friend (since 2nd grade) had personally made for me when I bought my first home on my own after a messy divorce in the 1980's. Under the verse it was done with our initials and "friends forever since 1952" so it is very distinct. You won't see another one like it. May sound silly, but it is a beautiful, originally done piece that, well, not a lot of folk have a friend, good friend, that goes back that far.
It sounds lovely! I hope she returns it.
It sounds lovely! I hope she returns it.
No, she is not returning it.
No, she is not returning it.
Stop hopping,
She will not return it.
Harry - DING, DING, DING You
Harry - DING, DING, DING You are the winner on that.
Here is the update on the sundial. She admitted that she had it AND if she had known it was sentimental t me would have given it back. She "would look for it". Shows up today with the battery charger for the old mower and tells H (I won't have anything to do with her) that she doesn't have it that they never had anything but a plastic one and it broke. Doesn't remember having anything brass, and on it goes (I was listening from inside house).
H told her it was all brass and what it said but SD denies ever having it now. Strange, they both know she took it as I do too, she admits to having it and now doesn't.
I feel awful because, well I just don't believe her. This piece would definately not be something that would break unless you deliberately intended to do so by destroying the brass some how, some way.
H called her after she left and asked her to check again. Oh no, she says, she doesn't have it. She even asked her husband and he says he doesn't remember any such thing. Yeah, right. Let me tell you about SD husband. He is her sock puppet, whatever she says he agrees with. He is totally spineless.
So, as I predicted, it is not coming back. H says he doesn't know what else he can do, but she says she never had it. My remark to him was he should admit to me that he knows she took it (we all do) and that she is a liar. I went further to say that I have no doubt it is still in her possession. This is a unique piece that makes a statement.
I kind of lost it when I said loudly so she could hear me that she was lying. Shouldn't have done that because it gave her the high ground with H but, well, we all have moments where enough is enough.
I figured this would happen. What gets me is that she and H admitted she had it, now she claims she never had it and H believes her and expects me to believe her as well.
Why would you feel awful that she is a POS?
Coddling and tolerating her, her sock puppet DH, and their Jabba the Hutt spawn as well as her daddy's denial laden, facilitating of her bullshit for 30 years has gotten you to this point. Time to rip out the self delusion by the roots and go full frontal assault on all of them.
Get a killer attorney, lock up every molecule of property and assets, get her charged with anything and everything you can, get an RO/PO against keep her away from you and her father, then you end this travesty of a shit show by divorcing and getting named guardian of STBXDH. It can happen.
There are some examples of this floating around the ether where an XW is divorced from a TBI husband, remarried, has kids with the new DH, and is the guardian of her TBI XH.
See what your options are and do not play softball with any of this. Hardball all the way.
Take care of you.
Rags - Am I to take it that
Rags - Am I to take it that you don't approve of this mess? Neither do I.
He spent a portion out in the garage looking for my tote. Came in claiming he thinks he knows which one it is BUT he wants me to verify it before he pulls the rest down. I wanted to say to him "Da, it is the box WELL MARKED #9 Frustrated's Family Pictures", plain and simple. Actually I think he is scared after what happened yesterday and having a bit of difficulty focusing on things. You know, how someone gets when they are caught dead to right and don't want to make it more obvious. Let him suffer and figure it out.
As I say, he is laying low. Not a peep out of him about yesterday or my calling his D a liar where she could hear what I sad clearly. Nothing. If I had done something like that in the past he would have come down on me about how I have problems, there is nothing wrong with her, WHY am I afraid of her? etc.
She scares me because of my dealings with her in the past. This woman has no feelings towards any one except her sock puppet and sons. Empathy is not a word you would associate with her. She is a predator, not bright, but opportunistic. This can be seen with her push on H when he was at the hospital about changing his will. Opportunity.
Yep, i agree that this is not a mess to approve of.
Please take care of you.
Didn't she say that she had
Didn't she say that she had put it indoors to protect it?
Did it dissolve in her garage or something? Did the death eaters get it?
Does she have particularly muscular mice?
yes Winter, she said she had
yes Winter, she said she had packed it away for the winter. She knew what it looked like and even told H it was solid brass.
I am still upset because they admitted she took it and has it and now, it is a whole different story.
Your guess is as good as mind. Bottom line is she is not giving it back PERIOD.
I'd be tempted to report it
I'd be tempted to report it to the police as stolen....and name names. This is awful.
Ditto ... bonus points if you
Ditto ... bonus points if you have photos of the item.
She sold it. IF not directly to someone, it is customized,
She sold it. It not direcly to someone, it is customized limiting the personal market unless someone grinds off the casting naming you, or on the scrap metal market.
Along the S. border in W. Texas nearly all of the historical markers are gone. Stolen for sale on the crap metal market.
Grrrrrrr!
Rags, if she doesn't have it
Rags, if she doesn't have it that is what she did. The personalization is not very pronounced, it is the rest of it that is stunning.
I would not put that past her at all. Remember, she is always looking to make a buck.
Thinking of that, that is what H accuses me of when something happens with her, that I am greedy, I am unreasonable, why am I scared of her, etc. And when I tell him why he always says: "That all happened in the past". But I firmly believe when someone shows you what they are believe them. Same thing with gossip, which is another thing she does, if someone gossips about everyone else, there is no doubt they will do the same about you to everyone else.
Stop playing games with SD
SD is a thief. Report her to to police. Keep SD out of your home. I would burn that lawnmower before giving it to SD. YOU are not going to win this game , DH must decide who's back he has, looks likes SD back he has, not yours.
Harry - You are correct.
Harry - You are correct. Nothing good is going to come out of this mess.
My mind and emotions are still swirling and I want time to calm myself before taking any steps forward, though I am writng down ideas about this. When I make my move it will be rational and not emotionally driven so I won't have any regrets about what I choose.
The part that upsets me the most was when H called SD and said "Do you STILL HAVE that sundial". THAT shocked the begesus out of me. He knew she had it all this time!!!
SD was to pick up mower this am but here it is, noon, and she hasn't showed her butt or even called. She is probably weight her options since she knows I am peeved as I called her a liar basically to her face. And, H didn't stop me as he would have in the past.
This morning H offered to
This morning H offered to replace the sundial, as though he could - no cost barring. I didn't even bother to respond because it is gone and can never really be replaced. Even if he could have one like it made it would not be or mean the same to me.
It would never have supposedly "gotten" broke if he would have stood behind me years ago.
The house of lies always
The house of lies always collapses. The longer it takes, the more devistating it is for everyone involved. Preferably, more so for the ones who perpetrated the lies and the ones who facilitated the liars.
Grrrrr!
Yeah, and the one lied to
Yeah, and the one lied to feels totally betrayed and hurt by their actions and gets to deal with the mess..
Yep. Which is why I am about baring the asses of liars
Yep. Which is why I am about baring the asses of liars and thieves.
I got this lesson very early. When was about 4yo we moved to another country. We lived in a company compound. I was out and about wandering around our street and found a squirt gun shaped like a Lion in the yard of one of the neighbors. I was 4 so, I took it. When I got home and was playing with it in the yard filling it up with the garden hose and squirting the scorpions, and other crawlies that hung out in our courtyard garden my mom asked me about it. I shrugged, played the "I dunno" card. Eventually, after the mom hairy eyeball interrogation got it out of me, I had to go knock on the door of that house, give them the squirt gun, and apologize. I was sobbing with embarrassment through that. I have a 57+yr durable trauma from experiencing that lesson.
Bring the pain and make your point publicly, repeatedly, and as painfully as possible on these types and those that ignore or facilitate their shit.
IMHO of course.
I can understand that. I
I can understand that. I would feel the same way about things. When you are young you are taught, or should be taught. If you crook after that, lie, cheat, steal, then it is on the person because they have no morals or conscience.