Need some advice
I haven't been here in a long time. My husband's 3 adult brats don't bother with him. He hasn't seen them in over a year, if not longer. He has reached out to them to offer dinner, but they don't ever want to go. They do communicate occasionally on Facebook and through texts. They are not allowed in my home. They scare me, to be honest, and I'm not one to scare easily. They have zero empathy and just seem like shells of people. Unless they want something and can't get it. Then they freak out. They are also three of the most laziest human beings I've ever encountered. Refuse to work, other than part time, if that.
My husband and I don't have much. A very small house that is falling apart. Two car payments. A small savings, and we do have small life insurance policies where we are each other's beneficiaries.
My husband and I both work extremely stressful and demanding jobs. I don't know how much longer we will be able to do so, especially him, as he was just diagnosed with MS, and is having significant symptoms. I have a progressive autoimmune disorder, so it's not easy.
I'm planning on seeing a lawyer soon, because I'm worried. My biggest fear is that something will happen to my husband, and they will try to see what they can get. They are sick individuals. After almost eight years, I'm still amazed that my husband produced them. He is nothing like them.
I'm also dealing with inlaws who believe we should be handing the "kids" money and feel that because they are blood, they come before me. They like to try to make my husband feel guilty, but that doesn't work. Again, I'm fortunate in that respect. However, they like to ask about our finances and feel that we should be doing a lot more for the "kids." I don't see the inlaws because they are so ridiculous, for lack of a better word. The "kids" only bother with them if money is involved. My inlaws are in fixed incomes, so there Isn't much.
My issue is, I'm going to the lawyer to make sure I'm protected. I think it's more for me to feel better. I'm the ONLY one who is taking my husband to his doctor appointments, tests, and the ER. No one else has offered or even asked if we are ok. I'm exhausted and in pain daily. Not that I would ever mind helping him, but I've heard horror stories of people dying or becoming extremely sick, and their spouses famillies causing massive problems for the other spouse.
Is there anything other than the lawyer I should be thinking about? Any advice is appreciated. I don't have much family support, so I'm kind of on my own.
Thank you.
Google estate planning
Google estate planning attorneys and read the reviews. In our case we did not pay for the first session, only when the work was done. A good attorney will listen to what your concerns are and recommend what you need, which I suspect will be a will, medical directive and power of attorney.
I hope that you and your DH are on the same page.
Thank you! I appreciate it.
Thank you! I appreciate it. I have an attorney in mind who is supposed to be a good one. DH is not giving me a problem about us seeing the attorney, but he doesn't think i need to worry. He feels that since we don't have much, they won't bother. I disagree. They don't see things the way normal people do. And my inlaws being involved is a huge issue.
Well he might have a point,
Well he might have a point, but it depends on what assets you have and how they are titled. Other than the cost, I don't see any harm in speaking with an attorney. To get the best bang for your buck, be prepared with a list of assets you own. For example, is the house in both your names? Is it titled as joint ownership with right of survivorship? How about vehicles, any retirement or bank accounts, and insurance policies? How are these owned? Do you have a will, power of attorney, medical power of attorney, and living will? Be prepared to discuss these. You can read more about them on some state bar association websites, and there are organisations that can help you with some of these documents. If either of you veterans, bring this up because there are benefits to which you may be entitled.
"Not much" is attractive to
"Not much" is attractive to people have nothing. Furthermore, there will always be the perception that you have more than you really do so the potential aggressive behavior will be the same as if you were sitting on truckloads of Facebook stock certificates.
One other suggestion - have a
One other suggestion - have a support system of friends / relatives who, if you needed them, would immediately come to your home to serve as both protection and witnesses.
To cut down on lawyer costs,
To cut down on lawyer costs, research and find out what you can do on your own. Power of attorneys and medical directives are just notarized affidavits and can be done yourselves. Do what you can, and only pay the lawyer for the more complicated, detailed stuff.
Do your research. Decide what
Do your research. Decide what you want before you get to a lawyer so you don't pay for time not necessary.
But, if you, as I do, think the skids may challenge any of the documents, it may be performing to have a lawyer draw them up.
Seeing a lawyer for a
Seeing a lawyer for a consultation gave me such peace of mind. I think it's the knowing where you stand that makes a big difference. As hereiam recommended, I would do as much leg work as possible up front - have your assets and liabilities listed along with a summary of your current medical and family situation (devoid of emotion - just the facts) and any current wills and agreements in place. That will speed things along and allow for the best advice.