What's your thoughts?
SS 21 has a history of smoking marijuana, ss 21 has also brought marijuana in the home. I have 2 minor BO. children in the home every other weekend and one sd, who resides in the home. I am strongly against any alcohol or drugs in my home, and if i had any say ss would not be living in the home after all the trouble we have had, with his drug use. I have stated I DO NOT WANT DRUGS OR ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE. SS21 continues to bring alcohol, (and probably drugs?) into the home after my request not to do so. When this is brought up to my spouse she states " I would rather have him drink at the house rather than drink and drive" What kind of logic is this? Does anyone else think this way? Besides the point do i not have any say in my house? (no). What's your thoughts.
Yep..he'd sooooo be out the
Yep..he'd sooooo be out the door. How dare he bring that shit in the house. It's illegal. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this and listen to that BS logic to condone it.
yeah, what an example for
yeah, what an example for the rest of the kids. I wanted to make sure i was not the only one to feel this way. Me and the spouse have very different parenting styles, and she continues to enable her son. Constant threats of drug test etc., which he knows he will never have any consequence for his behavior. We are going to be going to christian marriage counseling, as a last ditch effort to try to straighten some differences. Has anyone had any success with counseling? If things do not change i have to get away from the lack of respect from my ss, as well as my spouse.
At 21, SS is an adult. He
At 21, SS is an adult. He needs to get a job and his own place so he can smoke pot, drink or do what ever his little heart desires.
DH's logic is backwards . . especially since you have younger children in the house. He's enabling his son and creating a bad example for the other children. Even though you've made it clear that you don't want drugs/booze in the house, SS doesn't respect or obey you because DH doesn't enforce your wishes.
I've never gone to counseling but good luck.
I at one time did drink
I at one time did drink alcohol. My parents did not drink, and they did not approve of me to drink at any age, nor did they allow it at the house. Even though i made my own choices at 21 (actually since the age of 18,when i moved out), and occasionally drank, i had enough respect for my parents that i never brought alcohol into their home. At the age of 40, if i decided to have a beer, i would not bring it to my parents home, and their rules have stayed the same. I in a sense i don't care anymore what ss does outside the home, as long as he can support himself, and pay for his consequences,but this is the problem, he can't. He is 100% depended upon his mother, and me. He want's to pay for his own food, do his own laundry, pay for the roof over his own head( get an apartment), be his own man, than he can do what he wants. Until then i feel he should respect me, and my house. The problem is the wife doesn't feel the need to back me on any boundaries regarding the ss. I appreciate the discipline, and the way i was raised, and i t is hard to set an example for my minor children, when being disrespected all the time. As mentioned earlier, ss has a drug problem, and has brought drugs into the home on different occasions, I would think with his history of addiction, this would only be in his favor to be able to take a stand and not allow the drugs or alcohol into the house. If he doesn't like it he can take his beer, and alcohol money asnd support himself is the way i look at it.
The problem is there are no
The problem is there are no rules in our house, and never has been for the ss. Anything goes. Now that he has turned into an "adult" he has all the privelage of one, but just not the responsibility. The same for me as the step-dad i am allowed to be one when it comes to helping him, or to provide for him, but i am not allowed to have any say at my house, or set any boundaries, alot of double standards! He is enabled by his mother, and i am not allowed to voice my opinion. He does not contribute a thing to the household, he comes and goes as he pleases, and has never been helpful, or ever considered lifting a finger around the house, and has never had to. And believe me if i ever catch him with drugs at the house, he better call the cops, and that's all i am saying.PS.Furie no apologie needed i have been called worse!!
Hear, hear! Success is
Hear, hear!
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)