You are here

SD20's drug/alcohol issues are getting ridiculous

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 11:23am

I'm trying to decide whether to tell DH or just let it slide.

SD20 admitted to DH that she has been drinking since she was 13. She drinks to excess EVERY weekend and has admitted to drinking on the job (from which she has since been fired). So the latest is drugs. She admits to smoking marijuana, but recently her boyfriend posted a photo of what I can only presume to be cocaine, in a line on a table. He also posted about SD's crack use. And now I presume she's abusing prescription medication, as she's talking about taking Adderall and Xanax.

Should I say anything? DH won't DO anything, so...

Comments

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 11:44am

The post was right before they broke up. No, she's not in the picture. It's just a line of white powder on the table and a comment like, "About to turn up." It's just been a whole combination over the past few weeks. Two days ago Xanax, today Aderall, a few days before that generic talk about "getting high all the time," I presume referring to marijuana, then the post from former boyfriend about her and crack.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 11:37am

Is anyone dumb enough to post pics of cocaine lines on the WWW? ... is the Boyfriend just being a smart ass, going for shock value? Who knows maybe the cocaine line was sugar? Geesh, I sound like your DH!

when you say she's been talking about adderall and xanax.. where? on the WWW? to her Dad? If she doesn't have a perscription for the crap, then I have no idea why she'd be "talking" about it other than abusing it and still why "talk" about it??

You're right though, telling your DH is pointless, he won't do anything. His head is so far in the sand with her, he'd be lucky to ever see the light of day again.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 11:41am

post a pic? nah, i just leave mine in a bowl on the kitchen counter...

}:)

my brain's fried today- who WAS that, who's SS thought that???

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 11:46am

Yes, these kids (SD and her ex-boyfriend and a lot of other kids/adults in their "group") seem to think they're invincible and the rules don't apply to them. She's posting these comments online for all of her "friends" to see, but she doesn't have security so her posts are public. ANYBODY could see them. DH can, but he refuses to look. He told her if he ever "caught" her drinking while underage he would stop funding her college, but you're never going to catch someone if you refuse to look!

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 11:50am

Yeah, after I asked that "is anyone dumb enough" question, I remembered that yes, some kids ARE dumb enough! My SS13 posted a pic of him at a drinking party with a bunch of 20 something year olds (beer bottles and cans visible everywhere in the picture) and was posting things on FB about "kushing" and smoking pot. But his BM is like your DH... when my DH flips out BM just blows it off, "that's what kids do, it's all your fault, I'm prefect, SS is perfect so leave us alone"

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 12:09pm

I will say, except for the alcohol, I never did ANY of this stuff in college. And my drinking wasn't EVERY weekend to the point of a hangover. You're right, no point telling DH. I'll just go back to being a goody two shoes and stick my head in the sand, I guess.

nothinforya's picture

Submitted by nothinforya on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 2:14pm

I did it all. It's a miracle I lived through it. The alcohol is the one that can kill her. But there is nothing you can do. I don't know what your DH can do, either. Not enable her? She is an adult, and if she has not learned the logical consequences of her behavior yet, she will soon. You are probably not doing yourself any favors to even look at what she's doing. Why upset yourself? I think ostrich behavior is safest for you here. (Because you care what happens to her, and it hurts and frightens you to see the risks she is taking.)

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 2:24pm

I come from a family of alcoholics, I've been down this road (and continue to go down it) too much. I am not an alcoholic, but my father and brother both are. My brother is only a year older than me and I ended up bailing him out a lot in our high school years, to the point where I washed my hands of my relationship with him for a few years in college, for my own peace of mind. Even now our relationship is not that good because he continues to drink and claims he can control it. I don't like to see anybody throw their life away on a crutch that isn't going to fix their problems. But, not my kid, not my problem.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 12:21pm

I usually don't say anything to DH about his kid either. But I think in this situation I would just say..."Hey hun, you might want to look at SD's twitter. It looks like she might be getting in over her head with drugs and alcohol." Then don't say another word about it.

And the only reason I advise to even say this much, is because if something happens to SD, you have got to know that DH will flip if he thinks you knew about it and did not tell him.

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 07/18/2013 - 12:25pm

Thanks Willow. Appreciate the advice. Don't think DH will flip on me because that would involve him admitting SD20 is less than perfect and he just. cannot. do. that. I knew she was drinking at the age of 13 because 1. I am not a moron 2. I have my eyes open 3. I have a brain. He never knew. She finally admitted it to him at 17, I confirmed, he was boggled. Hell, she was posting, again online, about drinking at a friend's house when he would let her go over. It's easy to ignore things you don't "want" to see.