What can I do...
I'm not sure where to post this question so i hope here is ok...
Ok, so SD 11 lives full time with BM and 3 other siblings. SD has Karate practice at 4pm and the place is about a 20min walk from BM's house. BM has started to allow SD to walk to karate by herself, giving her a mobile, and i assume expecting that SD11 can defend her self... I have NEVER condoned this, not that i have been listened to.
Yesterday, while SD11 was on her solo journey, she was apparently cut off by teenagers on their bikes, and she fell off her scooter and injured herself. Now teenagers aside.. can anyone else see what might be wrong here??
a little girl, walking by herself, every wednesday at the same time, using the same route at dusk... alarm bells are ringing their nuts off at my end... but neither BM or DH are taking me seriously, brushin it off as accidents happen. While i get the teenagers may or may not have been an accident... i'm looking at the bigger picture here.. and street awareness or common sence is telling me BM is making her daughter a prime candidate for preditors...
I dont know how to broach this without it getting ugly, or letting the conversation be defected from the kids safety. I dont even know how much right of say i have in this??
I live 2 hours away. If i were closer i would just pick her up and and drop her off myself, but it's not feesable. I dont want my SD to have to give up somehting that she loves, and i cant force BM to walk with her or organise someone from karate to pick SD up. I feel so out of control in this situation and it's killing me because it seems i'm the only one in this situation that can sence the potential danger.
and as disgusting as this sounds, it also feels like this is just another thing added to the pressure of getting me to take the kids full time (because she knows i would never let this happen under my care, and it's a way of saying if you dont want it to happen, then you take them on), but surely to god, no mother on earth would stoop this low???
Contact the karate school and
Contact the karate school and make arrangements for an escort or something. Report BM's carelessness to CPS. The child could have been raped, kidnapped or killed. Did she really just fall or was she pushed?
It is not safe.
I feel like an asshole for
I feel like an asshole for even saying this, knowing full well i probably should... but i dont want to rock the boat by going to CPS. Though calling the karate school is a great idea, and i'll do that this afternoon.
I haven't spoken to SD myself yet, though when i do, i'm going to ask some subtle probing questions. I dont know if the teenagers are known bullies, or just random idiots. I'll find out though. I totally agree.. anything could happen... god it really makes me sick, and i feel like such a coward for not going directly to CPS... Do you really think i should? I think i'll try see what i can glean out of SD first tough and be a bit stronger in my words to DH. I think if anyone should go to CPS it should be him... I dont want to take the kids from thier mum, or discredit her, or ruin the amicable relationship everyone has at the moment. But i DO want both of them to understand the dangers in it, and do something about it.
I actually think that kids
I actually think that kids these days are a bit too overprotected and helicoptered these days-this includes myself with my own kids! I was outside all day when I was relatively young and was never picked up from anyone.I actually think it is important that kids are a bit more independent.
Sadly in this context common sense has to kick in and SD was already held up by teenagers - this tells me that that area is not safe and she should not walk there by herself.
thats the main big reason i
thats the main big reason i dont want to involve CSP... nothing has happened and i dont want to cause a big fuss when it's something i think can be sorted out amoungst us... it's still a big worry to me though, and wanted to see what you guys thought about it. Seems i've done the right thing in bringing it up to everyine, and i just need to be more convincing so preventative action is taken.
Yes when I was young we were
Yes when I was young we were out from dawn till dusk and popped home if we were hungry and we had no mobile phones. Nothing happened. BUT, times were different. Back then ever adult around just kept an eye on the kids. If anyone was dragging a screaming kid into a car, half the street would be out. It's not the case anymore. People don't want to get involved. Kids are more at risk. This is not acting like a helicopter parent. This is exercising common sense. This child is at risk.
I agree that maybe talking to
I agree that maybe talking to the Karate school about the escort would be fine...and maybe some days ask if she can go early if she does want to ride her scooter you don't want to fully take away the independence just monitor and make it better.