So... what am I doing for my 30th.... ha... sitting on my fucked couch, having a drink with myself after an exhausting day looking after my 4 Step kids... That sounds a little ungrateful doesn't it.

I mean... shouldn't I be lucky to have kids... 4, no less... isn't that what i always wanted... kids... ha... ahhh... the things we think we want... i dont know if i should laugh or cry.

The doors right there. Right fucking there... oh what i would give to get the courage to just grab those keys and walk right out.