DH, our son 17 months, and I were on our way to my grandmothers house for a family get together. (FYI: Grandfather passed in feb and we were very close) On our way there DH, calls up ss5 so he can talk to him. Well BM made up something like usual so she could talk to DH and said that SS5 was not available. When DH got off the phone, he said in an annoyed voice "I was nice". I asked who he was talking to his mom or bm. He told me bm. So we got into a conversation about how I try to be civil and nice when I have to deal with them but it almost always turns into a fight. He told me he was surprised that I put up with what I do from them and that he didnt know how I could be as nice as I am to them. He also told me that I am nicer than he ever is. He usually does not talk to them in front of me because there is always a fight and they hate me and turn everything around on blaming me. He asked me why I was as tolerable as I am and why after everything I would even try to be civil. So I told him, For him and ss5. I didnt want to cause more fights with him and them and I dont want them to give ss5 grief over it. Because they always do.

Once we went to pick up ss5 for a few weeks, he lives in a different state so weekend visits are not exactly feesable. SS5 was beyond excited and could not wait to come home with dh and I. Well bm wanted to say good bye in private. So we let her. When we were walking to the car, bm came out and watched us, he looked up at me and said do i have to go. I told him it was for a short time but if he really did not want to he did not have to. So he got in the car and we drove off. We didnt even make it 5 blocks before he was dancing in excitement saying Im going to daddys house. Tell me how a little boy could be so excited one min, then on a guilt trip the next, and finally out of site of his bm be excited again. This is just an example of what she does to him because she hates us.

So tell me am I crazy for trying to be civil and not wanting to cause more problems for my dh and ss?