>>>Should my parents feel they have to buy gifts for skids?<<<

No.

I agree. Your family should not be obligated to buy them gifts.

My sister buys small gifts for my skids but only because she's pretty close to them. She has two boys the same age as my skids and they are very close. But she doesn't buy anything big or excessive, and it's gifted TO my skids FROM her kids. We take the girls to pick out gifts for various people, including my nephews; so it's more a lesson on giving than extra presents at Christmas.

No. There's no relationship there. Why should they buy gifts for people they don't know?

My dad and his wife bought SD gifts if she was going to be with us for the holiday, otherwise, no.

Your parents have never met the skids, the skids will not be attending the holidays with them so NO. The only time my family bought gifts for my SS was when we were all having xmas together. I never expected my family to buy him gifts and when they asked what to buy for him I made sure I gave them very cheap easy gifts to get him, but had they bought nothing for him me and my DH would have been fine with that as well.

Nope!

my skid lives with me 24/7 as do my kids. my mom buys for mine and skid. hubby's mom buys for skid and for mine. again, we all live together, married. AND there are NO OTHER BIO MOM OR BIO DAD and their families involved with our kids, so its a little different. in your case, absolutely no.

Before I comment I should say I have no bios of my own. Just a doozy of a skid.

My mother used to send DH's kid cards and gifts for her birthday and holidays. She never once thanked her.

Mom called me and asked if I would mind if she stopped sending them, since she never acknowledged them. I said "Mom....I'm not even sure why you continued to send them after being ignored by her the first time around."

So mom doesn't send her gifts any longer.

However, on the flip side. My older siblings are from my parents first marriage. My paternal grandparents would send gifts for my brother (Dad's bio), my sisters and me. But would not send a gift for my older sister (Mom's bio). We were all under 10 years of age and Dad was raising my sister (her BioF was and still is a shitbird). Dad would go out and buy a gift for my older sister and sign it from his parents.

After two years of this, Mom told Dad no more. Either your parents buy gifts for all of the kids or none of the kids. X (my sister) calls you Dad, if that is good enough for you, then it should be good enough for them.

So Dad went to his parents and explained they can't exclude his oldest daughter from gifts any longer. That was all it took and they started including her. Apparently, they were afraid her BioF's parents would be offended if they sent her gifts and they were afraid to ask Dad. Mom just thought they were being difficult and rude (but to be honest, my mother didn't like my grandparents and made everything they did an issue).

I guess this can go either way in any family.

**edited to add*** It was also after Dad spoke to them about the gifts, that they started insisting that she call them Grandmother and Grandfather (in their native tongue) like the rest of us.

Are they obligated? No. Would it be nice? Yes. Even if it's not expensive stuff.

My parents ALWAYS treated SD like their own, and now they have a healthy grandparent-grandchild relationship...even though I've been divorced from SD's father for several years. (And they cannot stand him.)

HELL.TO.THE.NO.

Skid has a mother and a father so he gets gifts from both sides and my son has no father involved so he only gets from my side of the family. My BF chooses to buy my son gifts but I choose not to buy for skid and this works for us.

I would never expect or want my family to buy for BF's kid. FUCK THAT!

And if my BF's family didn't want to buy for my son that is fine. Not their G-KID not their problem/responsibility! PERIOD.

They should not feel obligated, but if they are the giving type then why not? Of course the skids will prob wonder who these people are, unless they will get to meet each other.
I have told my parents that they are not obligated to Every have to get a gift or a card for my sshits but they do anyway. Once I realised that they were going to I just asked to them to limit it to walmart gift cards.
My parents were both quick to explain that they were not necessarily doing it for the sshits but to respect my relationship with my dh and to acknowledge that he came with baggage.

I'm already pissed that MY family has made tons of accomodations for SD9. They've gone far out of their way to show her that "extra" love & attention. They've bought birthday/christmas presents. My aunt even gave her a $500 oil painting (my aunt is an artist).

SD DID NOT APPRECIATE ONE OF THOSE THINGS. I'm so upset that my family has been used in the same way I have! I don't want them to do any more for SD. BM's family has not done even one kind thing for SD. BM's entire family is absent from her life.

It's not my fault SD was dealt the 2 parents she has. Me and my family should not be guilted into compensating for their shortcomings.

no they should not feel guily or obligated to buy. i guess if kid is with you maybe something small like a dvd but otherwise nope. i refuse to work out a time for skid to go to my mom's if she is at our house and she can great if not great she really dont even have any fun at my moms house anyway and just cant wait to leave.
i also do not plan my kids to go to my husbands parents house either if they are with us they are but if not o well. theses kids are not related to any of these people and it is not fun when you are not related. shit sometimes its not fun when you are related!! but for kids who go back and forth beween two houses its hard enough to schedule often 4 sets of grandparents. can you even image!! i can barely see all mine and husbands family but theses kids have to run around not only to bio grandparents but step grandparents as well! this is way to much! like i said if kids are available thats one thing but i would not plan for it.
my mom used to try and be equal but stopped after she figured out her effort was not appreciated. she still buys but gives things like a outfit which is hard to tell the cost of the item especially if you are a good shopper.

My parents were so excited to buy gifts for my skids last year, as it was our first Christmas married and the first time my parents got to spend time with the kids. They live 9 hours away and had never met the kids. They also don't have any grandkids of their own yet, so they were pretty pumped to buy "kid gifts" that year. Since the kids aren't going with us this year, I've ordered my mom not to buy them anything. The kids won't know the difference, especially since they aren't going to be there to see them.

Someone else on here mentioned the kids getting basically 4 Christmases. I agree. Getting gifts from our house, their mothers' house, my MIL's house, their mom's mother's house and their mom's father's house- they get piles and piles of gifts that they'll hardly ever play with, and start to get all greedy. They drive me nuts around the holidays. Especially SD8. It's all "me me me me me me me me." She cried last year at my Mom's because her brother got one more package than she did. Even though it was batteries that went to a toy he'd gotten. UGH I dread Christmas. I used to love it, but these entitled brats make me such a scrooge.

I guess this was a long-winded answer, lol sorry about that. I'll get to the point. No, your parents shouldn't feel required to buy them gifts.

If your parents have never met the stepkids then no...In my case my "not so stepd's" actually call my parents memaw and pappy - and my parents actually refer to them as their sort of grandchildren - even my grandmothers get them things for xmas AND easter! haha! Though I have made a choice not to marry my "not so DH" after more than five years (due to my own issues) - the kids are graciously accepted into the family - and they refer to my niece and nephew as their step cousins and they fit in pretty well! So it all works out! Maybe SOMEDAY down the road you will like to introduce them! I actually always say - okay this gifting thing is getting out of hand lol! They now have 4 sets of grandparents! Maybe 5 if my parents never work things out (married for 33 damn years and are currently working on a divorce - it's been devastating) - they get gifts from us - their mom and stepdad - aunts uncles and countless others! It's crazy!!!!!!!!!!

I think this depends upon the situation. We had my SD ALL the time, her mom ended up abandoning her so we REALLY had her ALL the time. My grandparents bought for her and my parents bought for her. Now that SD is acting out horribly, doesn't seem to care about my family, my mom is having financial difficulties and my family will not see her for Christmas...I have asked them to stop buying for her.

I would definitely say no in your case. They havent met your skids so it would seem to me a little strange to get them a gift.

My parents used to buy for ss when he lived with us or even after he moved out if he would be present at our family xmas gathering. He has not been present for a number of years at this point so they stopped buying him gifts.