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SD always on brothers case.

Jena714's picture

Hi everyone,
I want advice about dealing with my SD15 always trying to parent the toddler and undermining/contradicting me. It very much feels like 3 of us raising the toddler and I'm slowing going crazy over it. I've mentioned to DH but he thinks SD can do nothing wrong. Maybe I was raised weird, but I am the oldest of 8, and I was never the mini mommy. DH has me thinking I'm an over reacting meanie, but I feel like I need to say something before I lose it. And another part of me thinks I should ignore her and not give her the satisfaction of aggravating me.

Examples include...repeating everything I say to him...scolding about things that are totally bizarre "ugh BS you opened 2 playdohs! Only 1 at a time!" Umm what? That's never been a rule ever. And this is the same girl that throws her trash on the floor throughout the house and doesn't flush, but is worried about that? She also loves to tell him to do the opposite of what I just said. "I won't play with you until you put a diaper on" when 5 seconds ago I reminded him to go pee on the potty. Or saying "ohh come sit with me BS" when I tell him it's time to come in the bedroom for nap time. It's so frustrating dealing with it, and then hearing from DH that It's just in my head.
The best part is she does the same thing to her twin brother and DH always stops her and says stop worrying about him worry about yourself. Hello, exactly!

Stepped in what momma's picture

Probably don't want to take my advice but if I tell DH an issue and it doesn't get resolved I just take care of it myself. My advice would be to nip it in the bid the next time she does it, tell her "Stop worrying about your brother and worry about yourself, let me, your brothers mother worry about him."

ScrewUboozilla's picture

Yeah when I do something so DH can see it, I get an angry DH who says I am tit for tat. Doesn't go over well.

notasm3's picture

Do what you need to do for YOUR CHILD. A little kid does not need to be pulled back and forth by two "big people" giving him conflicting orders.

Just tell the 15 year old to STFU.

happystepmum's picture

I'd be telling her that when she learns to pick up after herself and flush the toilet like any 6 year old, she can supervise her brother. Until then, butt out thankyou very much.

LAMomma's picture

My SD6 does this crap.. She plays the shy emotional princess card around most people but at home she bosses everyone around and acts like a mini mom. Part of her issue is at her house with BM she is in charge of SD3 and her needs. SD3 looks to SD6 while they are both here like she would a parent thus she thinks she has some kind of authority.

We look at ANY of the kids and ask them if they are an adult when they're trying to push boundaries. The answer is NOPE.. So shut it and knock it off.

Rags's picture

You are your DS's mother. Inform SD-15 that she is big sis and not mom. Clearly outline for her what that entails and hold her to it. She is not a parent.

DH needs to have your back or STFU.