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Visitation changing...FDH is on board but BM NOT.

SteppingUp's picture

I posted a few days ago asking opinions on the best visitation schedule for 50/50 custody. Almost all of you said every other week seems to work best and gives the kids a sense of stability.

I suggested to FDH that with his new job we try to make our time with SS3 a chunk of time, rather than this day that day this day that day. He was totally on-board and thought it was a great idea! I was so happy that we were completely in sync with this. He actually got so excited about it that he called BM right away to feel her out.

She said NO WAY. She said, "Ohh the kids LOVE going to everyone's house during the week!"

Now let's break down what's behind this...BM is realizing that for an entire week every two weeks she won't be able to go to the bars. That kills her. She has been going out EVERY single night she doesn't have skids during the week (we know that because of her facebook...just last night she was posting pics from her mobile at 11pm and again at 1am and again at 2am of her and friends in a bar). So she would DIE to not be able to go out for a whole WEEK at a time!!!

GRRRR

How can we convince her this is what's best for the KIDS and not HER?

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Jsmom's picture

We had to go to mediation. We had that crazy schedule when we were dating and I told him I didn't like and if I was moving in, it couldn't stay like that. Now we are one week on and one off. Monday AM to Monday AM. They get off the bus at one and back on at the other on Mondays. We never have to see each other.

Kids kept telling us that they were tired of not knowing which house they were in when they woke up.

File something with the courts and that may wake her up....