Pulling our children close during fights
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When we fight and it involves the kids, we are no longer on each others side. Hes on the girls side, im on ds8's side and then its fighting and becoming really hurtful. I dont know if im a really sensitive person or what, but i would think that if he saw an opportunity to diffuse the fight, if i was trying to also, why wouldnt he take it?
I want to tell him that i dont think he respects me too. I cant talk without him interrupting when we fight and it becomes frustrating, and when you dont defend your wife to bm, or your own family, or kids, doesnt that mean he doesnt have respect for you as a wife?
I dont know how to feel. I just know weve been fighting in circles for years over the same shit and it keeps getting worse.
Well, my dh knows I don't
Well, my dh knows I don't like his daughter. He knows she's given me many reasons not to like her. He loves me for doing more for her than she deserves. If he threw that line in my face, "you don't like her," in a pejorative way I don't know how we'd survive. I don't know how you do. Oh, yeah, you've got all those faboo techniques I could never dream up. Rock on! Anyway, sorry you have to endure that accusation.
Sally- I have fallen in love
Sally- I have fallen in love with you again for the 52nd time.
fuck me with a pink feather you only realize it now, you are so right I do not like your daughter she's a spoiled brat, ......
The best line ever!
So how does one as the so
So how does one as the so called wife get passed the obvious favoritism of his children ( mine dont live with us so it's not an issue regarding playing one off against the other) but DH goes into sheer protection mode when none was warranted and that hurts. I mean, how can a marriage survive when the husband cares as an example, more about his DD's feelings and nothing about his wife's?
"I cant talk without him
"I cant talk without him interrupting when we fight and it becomes frustrating,"
I stop talking the instant that the other person interrupts, I don't say anything and look at them as they speak. It's not a passive aggressive stare. I do actually listen to them. I do it every single time I'm interrupted. It doesn't take long before the person realizes that they are always interrupting. I don't answer as soon as they stop speaking, I let some silence settle in. Lots of times they'll start speaking again, sometimes they don't ever stop.
It's at that point that you know nothing you say is being heard and so there isn't any point in going on. You can't have a proactive discussion if you are both just yelling at each other and no one is hearing the other person.
If they ask a question, answer it. They will either listen to you or rage on about whatever it was you answered. If they interrupt, stop speaking. As I said it doesn't take long before they realize that you are not engaging in a fight with them.
Sally is spot on! IF he says something that is truth, agree with it. That's when you might actually be able to deal with the problem, once everyone agrees that there is a problem.
Most people don't really want to fix anything, they just want to be right. They want others to just agree with them and not actually solve anything.