Just tell me if im overreacting
I need opinions, because if dh convinces me of this bs about myself then it will fuck me up.
Sd9's bday is coming up and her mom decided to throw her a bday at the roller rink. Asked me and dh if we wanted to join, while they were talking about other things. Dh said "i think we can but i should check with sm first"
How would YOU all take that!? I take it as, no wonder im the bad guy all the time and no one has any respect for me. Because dh just puts it on me and if we dont go its the evil step moms fault.
Couldnt he just say, ill have to check our schedules, ill let you know. Thank you for the invite.
Then when i tell him how it makes me feel, he throws a huge fit about how it's ridiculous how much i care what other people think!!!! Basically the rest of his accusations calling me weak and thats its bullshit were back to fighting about this again.
I didnt do anything, did i? I just want my husband to be a protector! He always throws me under the bus and i might add, he never seems to ask me before making any important decisions with her and now all of a sudden he decides to throw me in front of it.
I think its nice that he says
I think its nice that he says it, it lets BM know that your his partner, his other half and its something that needs to be discussed with all involved parties and you are his.
My ExH does the same, if I suggest switching weekends or something, he says, "I have to check with "SM/wife, I'll let you know"
To me it shows that they are united, partners and together they will see if it works for the family, that she as the SM has a strong pivotal role in my children's life and the decisions will not be made till she can properly check the plans and let him know.
If there is a "no" answer, he will come back to me and say "SM/Wife reminded me we have plans on saturday at 2pm, so we won't be able to participate"
In the context in which my ExH uses it, it shows that he and SM are a strong team/partnership.
Now DH, does not say he is going to consult me, because BM's head will spin and she will spu profanities, but jealousy looks that way sometimes.
I think it can be taken
I think it can be taken either way and if he usually make decisions without consulting you, it does seem odd to throw your name in there now.
Yes, it makes it clear that you are a couple and are making the decision together, but the way he worded it, "I think we can but I should check with StepDrama first..." makes it seem like he was saying yes, but if the answer turns out to be no, it's because of you.
He should have just said, "I'll have to check our schedule."
Bottom line is, she will hear what she wants to hear, don't stress over it. A lot of ex-wives blame the current wife for anything and everything, true or not.
He kind of overreacted when you told him how it made you feel, though.