I do not believe that either, I do think that once you've cheated in that relationship you will cheat again because "I" feel if one or both parties cheat it is because they are unhappy in that relationship. This is not written in stone and there are relationships that survive cheating but to me it's rare. I couldn't forgive and forget cheating. SO cheated on Cuntzilla but I don't see him cheating on me he stands to lose too much.

I think that once a man cheats on a woman, he will always cheat on THAT woman. He may never cheat on the next woman, but he will usually always cheat on someone he has cheated on before. Same with women also.

A cheater usually will not change their way until they find a person that they love enough to not cheat on in the first place.

DH cheated on BM first, I believe. Of course, the way he tells it is that she called him up while he was away, told him she was divorcing him, and that he would never see his daughter again. He fell into the arms of a sympathetic friend, and fessed up immediately. BM technically cheated both times they separated (IOW got knocked up looking for her next meal ticket) and then tried to reconcile with DH when those men headed for the hills. Her middle child was stillborn (but ended up with DH's name) and the last was adopted by her now-DH.

I don't believe in 'once a cheater, always a cheater'. People CAN change, but it takes a hell of a lot of intestinal fortitude, and most cheaters don't have that. For my part, I cheated on DH early in our marriage. Getting caught and the ensuing drama was the catalyst I needed to pull my head out of my ass. It really changed me for the better once I owned my actions, changed my everyday behavior, and made amends. Of course, we are still dealing with the repercussions and will be in therapy for a long time, but we have really grown together.

My DH cheated on BM and she cheated too. They were only 21 and 19 when they married so I can see how it happened. They were too young, unhappy and had a miserable relationship. DH didn't even want to marry BM by the time the wedding rolled around, but her parents had already spent $30,000 so she guilted him into it. They separated 6 months after but then got back together and had SS.

I cheated on past boyfriends but I was very young, 17, 21, and they were just boyfriends and actually it was just kissing other guys, not sex. I never cheated on my ex husband, even though we had the worst relationship ever. I have my suspicions he cheated on me but had no evidence.

That said, I know DH would never cheat on me and I'd never cheat on him. When you're happy in a relationship, you don't cheat, and we are extremely happy. I know he was unhappy with BM, and I don't think he was right to cheat on her, but I get it, and it have complete faith he would never cheat on me.

I also agree with the statement that it's highly likely they'll cheat on the same woman, but that they may not always be a cheater. Something about their relationship dynamic can cause it to happen over and over and over again.

DH cheated on his GF of 5 years with BM (who was cheating on her SO of 9 years) for a month and a half. Prior to this GF, he has never cheated on his previous partners (6 in total) and he has never cheated on me (that I have caught him anyway) in the three+ years we've been together. With that GF he also went to a strip club behind her back.

He was pretty miserable with her but thought he loved her, even though that love for her was more like he loved a sister--he couldn't "get it up" with her, so to speak. She'd freak out at him over every single thing (including going into her fridge for some water.) I think he also massively resented her because when his father was in the hospital, she made him go with her on vacation, and then when he was away, his father passed away.

For us, I have access to all of his accounts, his phone, his computer. Most I ever find is porn, (which is not a problem because if you go through my browsing history, it's even stranger in interests than his.) I also have the pins to all his credit/debit cards and access to his bank accounts. He does not have any of mine.

He hated himself for cheating so I guess as redemption, he went above and beyond trying to be open with me. I work in the computer field so I even periodically sweep his computer's code for deleted things (which he knows I do).

I also don't get mad if I notice he's checking out other girls, and will often join in (my, er, tastes are not strictly heterosexual), something he used to get hell for and as they say, the more something is taboo, the more you want it.

So yeah, our bedroom life is great, he's super happy, and although I don't fear it, I still do sweeps. I'd rather be a bitch than be stupid, y'know?

DH didn't "cheat" on BM in the traditional sense. They separated after her second [proven] affair and in the time of their separation before divorce, he did sleep with another woman. They were dating casually for a few months .. his "rebound" after his 7 year marriage came to an end.

BM claims that's cheating.

She also thinks that DH cheated on her with me. We did meet through mutual friends before their divorce was final, but didn't start dating until after.

I think some people are serial cheaters. I think some people cheat, and learn from the mistake. I don't think one bad act or bad decision shapes or defines who you are.

Well, you can always check out the actual statistics: https://www.secureforensics.com/blog/statistics-on-cheaters-infidelity

"It is estimated that if someone cheated before, there is a 350 percent chance that they will cheat again, compared to those who have never cheated."

Now, you have to always take stats with a grain of salt.  I'm sure there are people who get so frustrated they'll cheat on one person and then feel guilty for that.  On the other hand, there certainly are serial cheaters who will cheat no matter whom they are with.  I guess you could say it depends on what is at the root of the cheating.

Aside, I always find it odd that women tend to be automatically excused for their cheating.  It seems like whenever someone in the media, for instance, mentions that a woman cheated, it is often added after about how her husband neglected her and how she is still the "world's best mom."  This is even when it was more than a 1-time deal.  On the other hand, if men cheat, for some reason, the automatic assumption is, "What a total jerk he is," or something similar.  "How dare he cheat on the mother of his children!"  But, as we so well know, I'm sure it is yet another example where BM, a mother can do no wrong.  There is always something else or someone else to blame. 

Someone who does not view cheating as wrong never will.  It is a very deep character flaw. 

Within the context of that relationship, yep.  And not worthy of continuing to pollute the life of the quality partner they cheated on.

Of course there are any number of extenuating circumstances that may justify the cheating.  Say, if the partner was a serial cheater, etc, etc, etc....

 In which case it is critical that the quality person does not continue to throw their life down the toilet for the POS partner.

IMHO of course.

I never caught my ex cheating however early in the relationship I did catch him doing things with bm which I considered to be inappropriate (flirting, hiding hanging out at her place, him bringing her dinner over for her and the kids and doing other favors for her after she sent overly friendly flirty texts, etc.) that was enough for me and yes I believe he would have absolutely cheated if given the opportunity. The trust was completely broken after that.