Meeting with ExH to discuss possible new schedule for our girls
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I have posted before about my daughter wanting to live with me. Here is the story . . . I am a BM and SM. My DD13 wants to live with me because she has lost trust in her father. She was old enough to remember what he did to me when we were married and now he takes his anger out on her. She has
Sorry, posted before I was
Sorry, posted before I was complete. Anyways, my DD13 is so unhappy at her Dads she is rebelling over there but has a great attitude when she is at my house. My ex and I have been in discussions and mediation about the schedules for our two daughters 13 & 11. Keep in mind that he used to physically and emotionally abuse me, but he is so convincing to everyone around us that only my mom and close friends believe me. So we are going to meet tomorrow night at a public place to discuss some options for placement to try and keep it as close to 50/50 but allow the girls to be in one house during the school week. As they get older it is too hard on them and they want to be in one house for activities and school work purposes. They also want to be in my house because their dads house does not feel like home to them. First of all he married a woman that moved in before the girls even knew they were dating and she used to live 2 houses away. It was strange to them to have an instant SM and friends living with them. Also, their dad still has anger issues that he usually directs towards my DD13. So I am looking for advice of how to fake it and be nice to him long enough for him to make the decision that the girls can live with me during the school week. Problem is I am afraid of him. Like I said he has fooled the courts, and my domestic abuse counselor has kind of given up on me because I am not longer living with him I think she thinks there is not threat. Any advice on how to get though a meeting with an ex?
Is there any reason you can't
Is there any reason you can't do this through email? One of you write up a proposal and go back and forth with edits/changes that way?
The reason he has the girls
The reason he has the girls is because the county did not press charges against him the only time I actually called the police because he destroyed our home and I was not there. All of the other times he hurt me and not the houes and I was too ashamed/scared to call the police. So it is my fault. Also my lawyer told me not to let him be the fun Dad. In my state almost every case is not 50/50 and since no charges were pressed he had no record. Sucks that now he is still doing it and fooling everyone.
I am thinking of meeting in
I am thinking of meeting in person to get him to see how important this is and make me human. Over texts and emails it is easier to say no without thinking how this effects all of us. He has no compassion and over email he is even less emotional. I am afraid that he might snap as he does over the phone. But that is another reason to do in in a public place in person. He has to remain calm. Over phone he screams at me and thinks nothing of it. Over email he cuts me down and again doesn't think anything of it. If I am really crazy for meeting him in person, please let me know. Or if any one has done this and can share with me how it went??