How close is too close?

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We have a very high conflict relationship with BM and her husband. Just found out that they sold there house in the next city and are trying to move to our city. Not only that, they are trying to buy a house just one street over from our house. If we had a cordial relationship, it might be a great situation for the kids. However, BM violates our privacy and tries to control all of our events with her texting,constant calling and questioning of the kids. I know we need to set boundaries, but how close is too close? I feel like she is doing this just so she can keep an eye on us all the time. She is constantly questioning the about what we do, now she will be right there! I feel like I will be trapped in my house. I love my neighborhood and go walking and running all the time. I don't want her to win, but it makes me sick to my stomach to think I might have to see her everyday. So, how close do you live the the crazy BM in your life and how is it working out for you?

This is awful! I would die if

This is awful! I would die if I had to see BM in my neighborhood. BM and skids live in the neighboring town and I usually avoid tha area in fear that I will run into one of them.

WOW that is way too close!

WOW that is way too close! We live about 5 miles from BM and that is a nightmare. I am so sorry for you. Talk about sucking oxygen out of a room. I would be climbing the walls if I were you.

I am just beside myself. I

I am just beside myself. I know that it is not a for sure thing yet, but BM is very manipulative and we live in a small town. She knows the family selling the house and probably has some deal going with them. The other bad part is that we picked this neighborhood because our kids all have friends here. If they get the house they want it is right in the back yard of my SS11's best friend and it has a pool. MY DH fears that the skids will not want to come to our house anymore, or will always be getting swayed by BM to come over and go swimming. She was so jealous of us when we moved to the neighborhood 2 years ago. I just never thought she would pull this!

I'm sorry. This is so

:sick:

I'm sorry. This is so intrusive! Do you own or rent and is BM buying or renting? It really shouldn't matter, but if you own and she is buying that means it's permanent for both of you and I would have a hard time believing that house was a once in a lifetime opportunity vs. something she was directly seeking! Even with a cordial relationship that would be too close for comfort!

All of your feelings are valid. I don't have many words of wisdom on this because even years after knowing BM I still struggle with the fact that we have a small community/skids and bios go to the same school and I end up seeing her. The way I deal with it is really to just carry myself with class and let her show her own crazy and try to ignore everything that doesn't pertain to me.

We own our home and she is

We own our home and she is trying to purchase this home. They claim that the pickings are slim for houses in our town so that is there only option. Unfortunately I have to see her more that I want to now because of all of my skids activities. I have horrible anxiety every time. I try to just do my thing and not give her the time of day. She hates that and thinks that by me ignoring her, I am being mean. I think I am being nice, she would not like to hear what I am thinking not would I say what I am thinking. I try to be the mature one. People in the community know about her reputation and she thinks everyone likes her even though they do not. She is an one the principals at the school and is now married to one of her teachers. I know that I need to try and not let this bother me, but deep down I know that this could is going to be so much more drama. I hate drama!

I am a BM as well as a SM and

I am a BM as well as a SM and a few years ago Ex's girlfriend had purchased the same car that I was going to purchase just in a different color (it was complete coincidence, kids didn't know or anything) and I specifically bought a different car lol, I cannot imagine moving into the same neighborhood!

couldn't imagine it. Thank

couldn't imagine it. Thank god our circumstances are so different that she couldn't afford our area- don't care if that makes me sound like a bitch.

as someone said above- carry yourself with class and hope her sale falls through.

Fingers crossed that she

Fingers crossed that she doesn't get the house ..

Wow. That just really sucks. I know our BM would NEVER move that close to us .. we're too far from her work. That and we live at the end of a dead end street .. there's no through-traffic or close neighbors so she'd never be "driving by" and see us.

I appreciate your devils

I appreciate your devils advocate, but she wants to live in our neighborhood because of status. We too live in a nicer neighborhood. We actually chose it because we thought that she could never buy a house there. She filed for bankruptcy last year so we thought we were safe. Apparently not! Not sure how they are getting a loan, but they asked us to drop child support so that they could afford the house. She pays my DH because she is an administrator and he is a teacher (in a different district) with very different salaries. Needless to say, if BM and her husband were reasonable and had not tortured us for the last 5 years and we got along with them, I would be fine with this. This does make her situation better, her current house is 20 minutes away and the kids are sick of living in two cities, but there are other houses they could choose from. She is once again using this as a control technique.