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Just wanted to say hi

Haribo's picture

Submitted by Haribo on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 8:28am

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Hi Guys

I have been lookin at alot of chat rooms re Step parents and none of them looked as nice as this one.

This is my first time writing and after reading alot of posts I see I am not alone.

I wont go through everything my BF ex has done but all I can say is she lied cheated and constantly stopped contact after 2 court visits resulting in a court order and since she found a new bloke and had a baby we dont get any problems really.

I will admit those times I found hard through 9 months of it I was pregnent which was even harder.

She no longer stops contact and looking in you would think butter didnt melt she doesnt stop contact we get no texts in the early hours etc etc etc, untill you speak to the girls, They now call her boyfriend daddy she tells them a daddy is someone who looks after them and lives with them etc etc even gets them writing storys about 2 little girls that live with there mummy and daddy etc etc basically I cant type it all but she has basically gave the girls the impression that they are a proper family living with mummy and daddy and we are not. My BF had to tell of one of his daughters the other day and she replied "your not my real daddy".

We have had the conversation with them about the differances between my bf and ther step dad but we dont want to badger them but as they are with there mum more there is only so much we can do.

Has any of you had this problem and in the long run did it have any effect on there relasionships.

Do you feel we should just let it go over our heads if so how do you manage to ignore it lol

Haribo's picture

Submitted by Haribo on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 9:25am

Thankyou Happysearch

No we havent got that in the court order by the time we went to court she had already made them so our sol said the courts won't go for it as it would confuse the kids to make them go back to calling him by his name.

I am from the UK and to be honest family law in the US seems alot better.

WE do mention it to them when it crops up the problems is they go back to there mum she then tells them something else and on it goes and we dont want to be as bad as her we just hope the girls will grow up and wonder why mummy told them this and remeber we didnt badger them.

Haribo's picture

Submitted by Haribo on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 9:45am

I get really what I am getting at is do you all think this will damage my BFs re;asionship with there father should we be saying more or should we give the kids more credit (they are 5) and let thereBM dig herself a hall etc.

Haribo's picture

Submitted by Haribo on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 9:51am

Your wasted happy search I think you should be a councellor i am def gonna go with your suggestions.

I really am glad I found this site Smile

Basil1170's picture

Submitted by Basil1170 on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 3:57am

I m so glad you have had such a quick number of replies , can you help me ... i dont know how to get with the online chats . i m new . My ...email is [email protected] and i d luv to chat

HELP PLEASE

Haribo's picture

Submitted by Haribo on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 10:00am

Thanks Happy Search

No to be honest if he could have put it on the court order he would have but it was to late and he didnt want to upset them any more.

steptwins's picture

Submitted by steptwins on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 1:08pm

Toy guns? Try real guns for my swins. That's right! Real guns with real bullets. And DH says, boys will be boys.

Haribo's picture

Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 3:24am

LOL Thanks Happy Search Yeah he is a really good dad. You wouldnt believe what his ex used to do though. I really need to stop giving a sh** about what his ex says and tells other people its just hard but I am getting there.

Hi blender
So you grew up on a farm I bet that was lovely. When I look back on some of the things I did and think about it I know I would nt let the kids do it now thimgs have got so much worse now though.

Thanks for the chat guys.

Haribo's picture

Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 11/01/2010 - 4:19am

Hello Katrinkie

Thankyou for your reply Im sorry I couldnt get back to you I had a problem with my computer.

Thankyou for the offer of the chat. Sometimes its just so nice to talk to people that understand. I sometimes find if you talk to people that have never been through what me and my partner has its very hard for them to understand.

We both try and do the best by the girls and have never bad mouthed there mum step dad etc etc. But we have been put through alot of pain and stress buy what has happened and when you here the girls mention what there mum has said ie You live with your mummy and daddy and a daddy is someone you live with etc etc it gets hard and you get scared that you will loose them.

However I just hope in there hearts they know and when they are older they will see the truth.