Hi Guys you have no idea how glad I am to find this site.

My partner has 2 girls from a previous relasionship.

I have family members who I have watched bring up children by them selves, its not easy and takes alot of work and I am the first to jump to the defence of a single mothers but my partners ex I can honestly say is spiteful a complete control freak she lies and I really could go on and on.

She tends to go through stages were she wants him to have them when it suits her she wants him to get envolved but again only when it suits her, when she doesnt want his help she is completly opposite and regrudges every minute of time he has with them and hates it if they conme back saying they had a nice time.

She has reported him to the CSA for none payment luckily enough we had receipts proving not only does he pay but he pays more than he should. She stopped access before this for reason like he had pictures of them(protected and secure) on facebook, she sent him a text saying he must take them off until they ae old enough to make up there own mind if they want to be on there. Now this may sound reasonable to you however she has pictures of them on facebook her friends have pictures of them on facebook and so does her partner. My partner wouldnt take them of so she stopped contact we have several texts to prove it. She then got a sols letter saying we were going back to court and once again we got a text saying she never stopped contact he just never bothered to pick them up and hes selfish because she had to rearrange all her and her partners work shifts around becuase he couldnt bebothered to see his kids."she sent this even though she new we had texts proving she had infact stopped contact but she lies and she twists everything" She also told everybody that he never bothered. Which resulted in us going back to court and eventually getting regualar access.

He used to have them for tea everyother week and everyweekend ( this was at her request as she went out)unless of course she had stopped contact but as soon as she couldnt get a babysitter she was back on the phone. When she got with a new partner she asked if my partner could have the girls every other weekend so she could have a full weekend with them. He thought about it and said yes thinking that it may bridge a gap between them end some of the hostilily and felt it was good for the girls in exchange he would have them one extra nite for tea. This worked well for a while then one evening when he had them she rang said her mum was on her way to her house to see the girls and she wanted them home now. He said no it his nite and he couldnt get them back that quick. This resulted in her stopping the extra teatime visit and the other teatime visit she insisted that unless he had them back by 6 he wasnt having them at all (my partner leaves work at 5 so as you can imagine it was useless). Her excuse was that the times ruins there routine. This of course was rubish as he had been doing this for nearly 2 years and it was her that requested the dates in the first place. Of course this was only an excuse and the real reason was because he said no to her so she wanted to punish him.

Since she has had a new partner she has told the girls to call her partner daddy to use his surname and tells the girls to not to listen to my parner and that they are part of her and her partners family and not ours.She has also tryed to change there surname on several occasions once to hers then to her new partners. She has now been told by the courts that she cannot change there surnames but she does still tell the girls they can pretend to have her new partners surname if they want to.

My partner has often helped out when he can he pays more that he should plus extras through the year for stuff. Has them extra takes them to school/hospital/doctors etc etc but there are occasions when he has to say no like over xmas he was ill she text him saying he has to come get the kids as she is going to kill them but of course he was ill and couldnt so I text her to explain he was in bed but would text her the next day. Early the next day she text saying as he ignored her the day before so he can pick them up early when he is next due to see them as he didnt bother the day before.When infact she new he was ill because I told her. She still went on to tell everybody that he didnt want to see them that day. When infact he wasnt suppose to have them anyway but him being ill and it not being his day she missed out of her story abit like the face book saga.

She really is so confusing she wants her new partner to be daddy doesnt really want my partner in there life but when she gets in certain moods or her parner isnt around shes on the phone.

I am so sorry to ramble on there are loads and loads more stuff I could tell you I just needed to get it off my chest.

AS I said 9 times out of ten we do accomadate her but when we say no she tells everybody he doesnt want to see his kids and hes no fit father of course people must think hes awful. When infact its her being unreasonable always swoping and changing her mind and leaving things til the last minute.

Ok end of rambing my question is we have had it all sorted in court now and she doesnt go against it. shes just going down the routes of trying to turn the girls against him and slagging him off to anyone who will listen with her lies. Is there anyone out there who goes through the same thing how do you ignore it and not take it all to heart my partner is such a kind and good man he doesnt deserve it, we have gone through so much this past two years I feel as if I want to get hold of her and all these people she has told and tell them the truth. Of course I know I cant but god its hard. How do you ignore it and just get on.

Thanks for listening guys I know I have rambled on but its the first time in 2 years xxxxx