Ex has done runner with SS8 again.....
So my partners ex has come and gone out of our lives past 4 years, she tries to break us up, plays their son against him, my parner jumps to everything she wants so he gets regular access... I actually end up feeling like the 3rd wheel in their relationship last time. The son has lots of social issues and over the past year he was staying with us regularly and was improving, but soon as dad tries to put something legal inplace, she skips interstate, this has happened 3 times now. So now im stuck with a super depressed partner and to add to the woes, i have falling pregnant, he hated the idea due to fear at the start, but came around and told his family and was happy. Overnight he flipped on me, demanding an abortion. im sure the ex has been in contact with him and telling him he wont ever see his son if i continue the pregnancy. Note she also refuses divorce, we cant then track her whereabouts and not child services will hand it over to serve her! What am i going to do? Im shattered what could be an amazing life with this guy and a baby of our own is infact a disaster. I have no children and 37, i have a huge supportive family and friends network and get a more than average wage, so im financial able to survive without him, but i want him to be part of this with me. Its so stressful and i cant believe the change in him.... :O
oh sorry just to add, she has
oh sorry just to add, she has bipolar and a brain injury and on disability pension, Child has gone to 4 schools in 3 years as she never stays put!
Toning down the drama. You've
Toning down the drama. You've got a lot on your plate. Breathe. You've got a baby on board, right? Be kind to it and yourself. Breathe.
It's more about your DH/BF than the BM. You have a hot/cold married BF. And you're preggers. ACK. Sorry, I got stuck
I'd let her run. It's her
I'd let her run. It's her child. They are MARRIED. Equal rights and all that jazz.
Let her and SS8 run. It sounds like a lot of drama to bring a new life into so you need to focus on yourself and your new baby with a married bf ... okay, I stalled again. Maybe I'm completely missing the story and I'll apologize there
I hate to sound harsh here,
I hate to sound harsh here, because it is obvious you have a lot going on. But your partner is still married, so you are the 3rd wheel in their relationship. Sounds like the divorce has been going on for at least year. If you are in the US there are ways to get a divorce even if the other partner "refuses to sign." The first thing that needs to happen is he needs to finalize his divorce and get a custody order in place. Then if she runs with the boy it will be easier to take action.
Start relying on your friends and family and make sure you have a place to go if you need to leave. Quit focusing on BM so much and make sure your partner is going to be there for you and the baby.
Wow you really can't see the
Wow you really can't see the forest for the trees, can you?
If you are financially stable, see how your "loving partner" feels about signing over his paternal rights in exchange for no child support for you. You don't need him to have this baby, and it sounds like you want it and he does not. "Sometimes maybe" wanting a child just doesn't cut it.
And please... listen to everyone here. If he WANTED to be divorced, he would be. He can take legal action and nip this crap with BM in the bud. He doesn't want to. You DON'T have a happy family with this man. You have a happy affair with a married man.
And all of this crap with BM is neither here nor there. Either you and your partner are a team, or you're not. One or the other. If the two of you are a united front, BM can be as crazy as she wants, and it really won't matter. Your partner could be cool, calm, collected, and use legal routes to enforce his visitation and stop this crap.
But it sounds to me like he's not done chasing BM.
I want to feel bad for you, but I kind of can't. You are a grown woman. How you allowed yourself to get into this mess with a still married man and "fall pregnant" (REALLY????) is beyond me.
Time to give your SO a
Time to give your SO a choice.
1) "Prove yourself to be a worthly life partner for me by being a man worthy of me and a father worthy of MY kid. Get a killer attorney, hunt that bitch down, divorcer her, get a CO establishing custody, visitation, and support, and use it to keep that bitch pummeled into submission or ....."
2) "I am going to find someone who is worthy of being my equity life partner."
SO needs to put his hands between his legs, grab a big old handful of man sack, man up, step up, and deal with this shit.
Hell, never mind even my suggestion. Skip directly to #2, leave him now, nail his ass for a monster CS check since his X has no paperwork your kid will likely get priority, and protect your own child from the shallow and polluted end of that gene pool.
Write this loser POS off.