Just a vent about BM...
Lord. Four years ago when DH and I were starting our life together BM was throwing full cans of beer at him in front of the kids and making regular appearances in our front yard throwing temper tantrums about random things just because. She ended up taking him back to court a few months after we married/moved in together to try and get sole custody and make him an every other weekend dad for no other reason than pure jealousy. *** Side note: They have joint legal/physical custody with my DH physically having them 65-70% of the time and the order states neither of them could have over night guests of the opposite sex. So during the case she brought against him for custody she was sleeping over at her BF's house and having him sleep over with the kids present, and that all ended in him being awarded a reduction in child support with the no overnight guest clause to remain. Fast forward another year, that BF broke up with her and she ran a couple other guys through the kids (including overnight visits) and then finally a fourth around Thanksgiving time. DH filed for custody based on her behavior, the fact that the kids smelled like a kennel mixed with cigarette smoke and BO when coming back from her house, and the fact that she has never since they have been divorced payed her half of any medical or dental bills even though we have sent multiple copies of bills we pay on our own (and the order says she has to do this). She still gets child support from him but she also hasn't paid for any of their school supplies, lunches, or clothing - ever. And also refused to attend any of SD's softball games. Now this wench has just randomly married her flavor of the month after the kids told her DH knew she was sleeping them over and she's moved herself and the kids in with her new husband A HALF MILE DOWN THE ROAD FROM US!!! Ugh. We just bought this house like exactly a year ago. I seriously cannot STAND her just because of all the reasons above and what type of mother and person she is (or I guess I should say "isn't"). I know there is nothing I can do about this, but it infuriates me that she's now planted her raggedy self in my damn neighborhood.
Maybe the marriage won't last
Maybe the marriage won't last and she will move back out.
As bad as it is there is
As bad as it is there is little you can do about her having boyfriends spend the night and having her boyfriends meet the kids. Sure there may be a clause in the divorce decree but good luck getting anyone to enforce it. That is the reality of the court system. It sounds like your husband choose poorly with whom to have children with. It happens unfortunately but the baggage stays forever. The question is do you want to have this baggage in your life forever? Dysfunctional BM will always be around with her dysfunction. Also keep in mind dysfunctional bio parents usually end up with dysfunctional kids once they get older.
I don't necessarily think we
I don't necessarily think we should DO anything about her dating habits. I wasliterally just venting about the situation. DH has primarily taken her back to court for custody based on the fact that she doesn't pay her 50% of uncovered bills, doesn't participate or contribute toward extra curricular, and hygiene is out the window for them when they're with her. The rest of my post was really just to vent off the annoyances of a woman that will always be around being her trashy self.