I'm always skeptical of parents who aren't in the slightest bit concerned about who their child is spending significant amounts of time around.

I understand it's not really their place or right to demand a meet and greet as parents should be trusted to not expose their children to dangerous or suspicious people .. but it still makes me wonder.

First time I met my kids' stepMom, she proceeded to tell me what was wrong with my kids (after having met them once for a couple of hours). Really - you wonder why I'm not interested in knowing her? Sorry - she can talk to the hand.

I don't think it's odd at all. You're married to their father. unless she had previous concerns about his judgment, she may feel confident with his judgment about you. furthermore, she may realize that whether she approves of you or not is irrelevant. I agree with the others, count it as a blessing and live your life without her in it.

i'm very lucky that my ex never dated after me (i feel bad for him, though) cause i probably woulda been the bm from hell. no way i'd let some other woman come in and take care of my kids the way i've done for bm's kids. i'm watching ss11 and a friend all weekend cause dh is working 12 hour shifts. i would not have tolerated this with my ex unless/until i was satisfied that his woman had my kids best interest at heart. my ex and i had right to first refusal written into our court order, and i would have exercised it with a vengence if he would have pawned our kids off on his woman before i knew the deal. and, i probably would have gotten that info from my kids (and i think is how bm gets her info), which is probably what is happening in your situation.

I would want to meet anyone that exH was serious with, just for my piece of mind, but it all comes down to just having to trust his judgement and hope he wouldn't allow someone around our child who he knows/thinks would be a harm to her.