If it was important to you, you'd remember, right?

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So I think...no, take that back. - I KNOW DH has forgotten our anniversary today. It's late in the afternoon, he's home from work and not a single peep at all from him. Usually every year, we at the very least go out for dinner. What kinda makes it "suckier" is that he remembered a family members bday today and sent a bday greeting.

This all just makes me feel blah! He expects me to remember and celebrate dates that revolve around SD and her kid...I guess this year, our anniversary doesn't mean diddly squat to him. Like all I'm good for is just for taking care of him, his/our kids and getting my home ready to welcome SD and her kid. Oh flipping joy!

More reason why I don't want SD25 around. If he can't appreciate our marriage, then I should make it crystal clear to him that I don't appreciate having to house, feed, support, provide & care for SD & GSD.

Maybe in just feeling extra pissy right now. Idk. I have a gift & card for him but I'll hold off till later tonight to give it to him. I can already imagine the look on his face when I drop it on his lap and quietly walk away...

Hi notasm, they're not with

Hi notasm, they're not with me right now (SD & her kid), but they will be moving in next month on the 18th. Sooooo not looking forward to it. Had her living with me before & she was just a train wreck and pain in the rear. I got tired of putting up a/ her, continuously helping her out only to have her screw up over & over again. I've since stopped wanting to care to help her out.
DH is not giving me a choice about her moving in. We've gone over it and he knows I don't want it, don't like it but has it already set in stone. It really really sucks! Today, I should be happy and celebrating our marriage.
No such luck!

I don't want to seem

I don't want to seem argumentative as I do think it's a good idea to let her DH know exactly how she feels in no uncertain terms. But I have to play devil's advocate here.
It's not a given that the DH will roll over if she says she will move out. Personally I would not allow my adult kids to move home unless there were some very extenuating circumstances and I had no other choice. But once I had determined that is what I needed to do, if FDH could not see my reasons why I felt it was the only option and said no, I would not tolerate that. If he told me that if they moved in he would move out, I would say "Peace out motherfucker".

Hi Echo, 1) I am not allowing

Hi Echo,

1) I am not allowing her to move in. DH is. This home is half his. He's not giving a rats ass how I feel.
2) We have a 6 mos. old baby boy (in addition to our DD12) and I am a SAHM.
3) When we moved to this area a year ago, we both decided I would not work so that I could take care of our 12yr old DD and take it easy. (I had a high risk pregnancy)
4) I have absolutely no family in this state

That being said, yes I am upset and yes I do come here to vent, but that does not mean I am not thinking of a plan A, B, & C. I am already resolved that when she comes here and when things turn out the way I pretty much know they will, - that my ducks are aligned and I'm ready to take my 2 kids and leave.

Mind you, we have 2 children that absolutely love their Dad. Destroying and separating a family is no easy thing.
And maybe I am praying for a miracle that between now & 3 1/2 weeks, things change and the SD does not show up at my door.

Yes, I agree with you on

Yes, I agree with you on that. It did take quite a bit of adjusting to not work and receive my own paycheck (as I was so used to making a nice, comfortable salary). First things first though, I exclusively breastfeed and need to work on weaning my son so that he can take a bottle. Once that is accomplished, then there's looking for childcare, then getting a job. Like I said, getting my ducks aligned...

Hi Justforthis, when I laid

Hi Justforthis, when I laid out my plan (weaning, childcare, then work), I in no way insinuated them as excuses. Trust me, I know all about breastfeeding and working at the same time. I did it with my DD thirteen years ago. What made it easy then was that I worked 2 minutes away from home, had a flexible schedule and was allowed to bring nursing daughter w/ me to work on certain days. And I lived in a community where I had a huge family AND I had an awesome nanny/babysitter who watched my kid while I was at work. I probably had it a whole whopping lot easier than most breastfeeding moms.

Now my son is a whole lot different than daughter. Very needy and always, I mean always on the boob. That however does not mean that I haven't tried weaning him nor that I won't continue trying to wean him. Give me the name brand of a bottle, and I bet you, I most likely have it! (Just stating that I have a ridiculous amount & variety of bottles and nipples that I have tried using w/ my son.)

Love it! ^^^^^

Yep. I love my husband, but

Yep. I love my husband, but his daughter and her 2 kids are NEVER moving in.

For one thing, we agreed years ago that nobody would live with us (this did not apply to SD as a minor).

Second, I would be an absolute lunatic. She is a pig and I have never wanted kids so I certainly don't want to have to put up with hers.

Third, there are plenty of resources out there for single women with children. My SD is currently living with BM and has no job. I have given her a list of agencies that will help her, with phone numbers, and she will not call one of them. If she doesn't want to help herself, neither do I.

Weaning is not that easy!

Weaning is not that easy! It's hard on mommy and baby. I understand if you don't rush it. Do what's the best for the little one, but the same time you can plan to be independent. I'm in the same boat.

Thank you Jerseymommy! My

Thank you Jerseymommy!
My son absolutely refuses to take a bottle and I've tried nearly every brand & type that I can get my hands on. I have one more bottle to try- the tommy tipple one (as recommended by another nursing friend of mine). I should be receiving them in the mail any day now. Keeping my fingers crossed that he takes to it without much problems.

Ok i've been through pretty

Ok i've been through pretty much everyone's comments and i think everyones gotten a little side tracked here.

Your DH forgotten your anniversary, that is what the problem is, everything else needs to be put to one side for a second.
He forgot your anniversary!! Unless he's arranged a surprise get away and is acting like a dumb ass just to make it that much better i think you need to have a good scream at him! Life is busy in every way but dates of special moments/times are always celebrated even if its a movie n takeaway on the couch with a glass of wine.

Is this usual behavior from him? Does he have a lot on his plate? Is he trying to punish you? Either way atm i think yours and his relationship needs to be thought about without SD n her kids being involved here, obviously she doesn't help and the fact she's moving even though you dont want her to is really not helping!
I cant say give him an ultimatum between you or his daughter but you can give him the ultimatum of "consider and listen to my needs or dont" then if you decide to leave it'll be for right reasons, not because of your SD but because of him. good luck x

wow, this man really runs

wow, this man really runs over you, doesn't he? echo has some very wise words of wisdom. when we give up our own security (our career) to become a sahm, we run this risk. it happened to me, I vowed it would never happen again. like echo, I have my own home and my dh's name will never be on it (he's resentful of this, but too bad). never will his mom move in. never will his kids move in without strict guidelines set by me. you have a long road ahead of you, hon. i'm glad you have an escape plan. these things take time when you've given everything to your spouse. it took me a couple years of steadily implementation of my escape route. in the meantime, concentrate on you and your children. give your dh his anniversary gift and begin mentally separating from him. (I knew it was over when my ex and I BOTH forgot our anniversary). if your dh comments on how you are different, TELL him exactly what you are doing. you're tired of being ran over, you have no say in how your house is run, and you will be leaving. if he sits back and watches all your preparations, your marriage wasn't worth the paper it was written on (me ex watched me pull out a fold out bed in the middle of the living room each night for a year before I left). I would also recommend some counseling. invite your dh, but let him know that if you see a counselor alone, it's to help you leave, if you see a counselor with him, it's to save your marriage. it's up to him which way he wants this to go, because one way or the other, you are determined that your life WILL be better. good luck hon.