How would you divie up your life insurance policy?
So husband was updating his coverage on his life insurance policy, especially because we have a 6 mos. old baby. Well he brings home a copy of it and I couldn't help but be ticked off at how he determined the secondary beneficiaries. In terms of primary beneficiary/ies, I'm listed as being the only one and at a 100% because I take care of our kids...
But if something were to happen to me (If I was not around/alive), he broke it down the secondary beneficiaries as SD25- 50%, DD13- 25%, DS(infant)- 25%. Of course I was royally pissed about the unfairness of this and questioned why it wasn't equal for all three kids at 33.33%! He couldn't even come up with a good reason, in fact he was just quiet. He later said he would change it as per my request. I'm just going to wait and see if he actually gets around to it.
In the meantime folks, what are your thoughts on this? Does this mean he wants to provide more for SD25 than his other kids? Or that he cares or loves SD more? God forbid anything happen to me, but if it did, then my minor children are being screwed because their adult sister who is more than capable of working and fending for herself would get double what they get. What the F kind of logic is that?!!!
Comments please.
WOW... If anything SD should
WOW... If anything SD should get less because she is a grown woman and able to fend for herself. Your kids are the ones who will need basics covered for years to come along with college expenses. Shoot until they are all done with college I would have it 40/40/20 with SD getting the least.
I like that breakdown-
I like that breakdown- 40/40/20. Another reason why this whole thing threw me off guard was because husband originally said he would break it down as DD13- 50% and DS(infant)- 50%. He reasoned that SD25 wasn't going to be a beneficiary Because she was an adult and our younger two children are minors. I have no idea what changed his mind in the 3 days between him saying 50/50 to horrifying me with SD being included AND getting more.
Crazy-exactly! Only crazy
Crazy-exactly! Only crazy thinking would decide to give 25% to each minor child (25-DD, 25-DS) and 50% to adult child (my SD).
So getting back to an earlier question...Is this breakdown a reflection of his affection for the kids???? Because I can't help but feel like him wanting to give double to SD implies he cares/loves her more than OUR minor children. Or am I reading too much into this?
I do have insurance on me and
I do have insurance on me and SD ain't getting a dime! She has her own BM for that.
No, DH IS a beneficiary on my
No, DH IS a beneficiary on my life insurance policy.
I'd be pissed too. In our
I'd be pissed too.
In our case, it was a little simpler. We had no children together so he is primary on mine (as I am on his) and 2ndary are our own children. Neither of us provide for our step kids in our life insurance policies. (Me because the skids' "other" side of the family is super rich and they don't need my chump change. DH probably because I don't have the skids on mine!)
Neither of my adult SDs are
Neither of my adult SDs are included in my husband's life insurance policy.
Your minor children, and whoever is going to raise them, will need that money.
Yes, they SHOULD be able to
Yes, they SHOULD be able to get SS. I really don't think my DH has even thought about that- since we've never discussed it. I personally know the dollar amount my kids would get from me (in terms of S.S. benefits) if I passed away while they are still minors.
We decided that they would stay with my sister if both me & DH were deceased. (I sure as hell don't want them with SD25!)
So it's not like DH logic was that SD get more because she would take in DD and DS. It was NEVER an option or desire of mine. We both wouldn't trust SD with taking care of her younger siblings because she is irresponsible, unstable and a train wreck.
Yes, they SHOULD be able to
Yes, they SHOULD be able to get SS. I really don't think my DH has even thought about that- since we've never discussed it. I personally know the dollar amount my kids would get from me (in terms of S.S. benefits) if I passed away while they are still minors.
We decided that they would stay with my sister if both me & DH were deceased. (I sure as hell don't want them with SD25!)
So it's not like DH logic was that SD get more because she would take in DD and DS. It was NEVER an option or desire of mine. We both wouldn't trust SD with taking care of her younger siblings because she is irresponsible, unstable and a train wreck.
I have no problem with part
I have no problem with part of DH's life insurance going to SD. What I do have a problem with is her getting 2x more what our minor children would be getting. If anything, I'd like it to be fair & equal across the board with 33% for each of the kids.
SD will inherit from her mom.
SD will inherit from her mom. I already know that for a fact. And she already gets perks and monetary benefits because of her cultural ethnicity which is from her mother's side. So, NO, DH's breakdown is not fair and equal for all his kids.
IMO it should be OP listed
IMO it should be OP listed first at 100%. Minor children listed 2nd at 50/50. Adult children (unless disabled) should be able to take care of themselves.
If OP's husband desire to 'take care' of adult SD he can address her in his will as to any other assets/property. IMO life insurance policies when there is a spouse and minor children if for the spouse help support the surviving spouse and to assure the minor children are taken care of if minor children exist. DH doesn't 'support' his adult child (nor me mine, nor us ours), why should he or I start upon his/my death? The children are all included our wills. The only area we have the distinction is the life insurance policies. IMO life insurance isn't meant to be an 'inheritance' for adult able bodied children (our little darlings will get enough as it is without life insurance being added to it). It's just the way DH and I feel. Doesn't mean anybody or everybody else must feel and/or do things the same way.
This is exactly what I was
This is exactly what I was going to write. Life insurance and inheritance are two different things.
Or that he cares or loves SD
Or that he cares or loves SD more
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I think that is exactly what it means. How sick.
We pretty much broke it down
We pretty much broke it down to money going to me (if DH dies). If I die the money goes to our bio (minor) to help with the expenses of raising him. When he grows up I will have no problem with the money going to me first and if I die to be split among the 3 kids. I can't imagine skids having a problem w/$ going to our bio when he's little to help offset the cost of raising him. I don't think your DH was thinking in terms of the cost to raise a child. I just don't thing he was thinking it through.