WOW, thank goodness I found this website! I have been at my wits end lately and have had NO one to confide in, let alone anyone who can understand how I feel. This is my first post here and I'm hoping it helps at least alleviate some of the stress.

I have been a step mother for the past 7 years to my husbands 3 children from a previous relationship. We have officially entered the preteen years for all of the kids as two of them are twins. I also have my own child (1yr old) with my husband. My husband is a great guy and father and is generally very supportive of me and the fact that EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND we have custody of his 3 kids and it's a lot of extra work on me.
BM is a mess, a greedy, manipulative, money hungry whore of a mess who uses her children as pay cheques. She has caused so much un needed stress in our lives. The kids know this and complain on a constant basis about her and her live in boyfriend. The kids poke and try to get my husband and I going in order to get her in trouble. It's become so much un needed baggage that I can't take it much anymore. To add to it, the kids have poor manners (not for lack of us trying to correct them). They will sit at the dinner table and say that they think their meal is disgusting and they don't want to eat it. And to be honest, I don't really think they mean it in a hurt my feelings kind of way, I think they just have zero self perception and have no idea that it's not polite to just say whatever pops into their heads. Not to mention, the meal will litterally be something they loved 2 weeks ago. They just decide they don't want to eat so they say they don't like it.

The oldest girl has some weird issue where she can't just sit by herself and enjoy some alone time. If we get up from the living room and walk to the kitchen to simply get a glass of water, she follows and stands there waiting for us. Then follows us right back to the living room. She is ALWAYS on top of her father. She clings to him and can't seem to understand that people don't like to be mauled! If I'm carrying the baby around, she walks under my feet so I'm practically tripping over her. I have asked her to go find something to do because we have a small house and it's not really that safe for her to be under my feet while I'm pacing with an upset baby. That I'm likely to trip over her and hurt her, myself and the baby. She seems to think it's funny and laughs it off. She drives me nuts! She hovers over food when I am trying to cook and she's one of those kids that picks her nose and eats it and spits when she talks so it freaks me out when she's basically got her face in everyone's food.

My step son has never had to be responsible for himself before and has always gotten away with everything as his sisters were always acting out way worse. He plays dumb daily so that he doesn't have to do anything. If I ask him to go clean his room he grunts and groans, goes upstairs and then comes down 20 minutes later and says he cleaned. I go up to check (which I have learned I HAVE to do) and he has shoved everything in his closet that would fit and left the rest on the floor. We'll ask him again to go and re do it and he'll go back up and then come down without having done anything at all. He puts clean, folded clothes in the dirty hamper so that he doesn't have to hang them up or put them in his dresser. He is 10 years old and is constantly peeing in his pants and bed with no real reason. He got up one morning and peed his pants in the 2 minutes it took him to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. Then doesn't say anything, he just shoves pee soaked clothes in the hamper for me to find later on. He also refuses to wipe himself properly after a bowel movement and I am constantly finding crap in his underwear. It's driving me nuts! When his father talks to him about it, the bathroom stuff stops for about 2-4 weeks, then it starts again. So I know it's not a medical issue. It's lazyness as far as I am concerned. And it bothers me because I feel like there is this unclean kid wandering around my house touching everything and my baby. I know that sounds so harsh to say, but if he is peeing and crapping in his pants, chances are his hands aren't clean either. He can't handle simple instructions either. He listens to a direction, says he understands it and then totally can NOT follow it because he refuses to actually think about what was asked of him. I swear its because at the end of the day, he's rather everyone just do everything for him. He's also starting to act out in a rude way. He's not exactly the cool kid, but I he's watching his bm's bf walk around like a white rapper thug wanna be, mouthing off to everyone about everything and now my ss is following suit. Like he's trying to be a touch guy cause he knows he's not.

The other girl is the best of the 3 but she's sneaky and manipulative and will lie through her teeth to get her way. She also refuses to clean up after herself and I'm pretty sure she just hopes we won't notice.

They all fight with eachother like crazy and are so selfish! They will honestly play together for 5 minutes and the screaming just starts up! All 3 are guilty of not allowing my husband and I to have any alone time what so ever. We can't even discuss dinner without them coming into whatever room we are in and jumping in the middle of our conversation. I have had to talk to my husband about this a few times. I get that it's hard for him because they are his kids, but I've told him that they need to understand that adults need some alone time. That I'm just asking for 5 minutes here and there and that it doesn't mean he's shunning them! They will be just fine to be told to go find something to do and allow us a few minutes to talk! I have told him so many times that I am tired of me and our baby taking a back seat to his fear of hurting the feelings of his first 3 kids.

Within minutes of them walking into our house it looks like a bomb went off! They refuse to acknowledge that our house is not big enough for all of us and they take over every space possible with their messes. Unless I go to the bathroom or my bedroom, I can't escape the mess and the noise! I know they only see their Dad on Sat and Sun and that must be hard on them and him, I can't imagine not seeing my child all week long, but I just wish that after 7 years of this routine that they would fall into a bit of a routine where they don't just walk through the door and take over our entire life! They have zero respect for the fact that we have this life outside of their visits and rather than coming over and having a place in that life with us, they come over and take over!

I know raising kids is hard work and there's a lot of repeating yourself, but I'm just so tired of it! I find myself getting so angry the night before they are to arrive and I'm miserable the entire weekend they are here. I feel horrible because they are my husbands kids and if the situation were reversed I would be heart broken to know he felt that way about my kids. But it seems that no matter how much I try to mentally look at that way, I can't shake this annoyed beyond annoyed feeling! I'm at the point where I keep hearing this inner monologue of "they aren't my kids, I don't want to take care of them, someone please get them out of my space and let me live my life with my husband and child". How horrible is that of me to think!?!! On the flip side of it, everyone seems to think I'm this great step mother and the kids adore me and I'm doing such a wonderful job. I guess I'm really good at faking it cause I feel like the shittiest step mother that has ever existed.

And after reading through some of these horror stories here on this site, I realize that I have it way better off than some. I just hate that I dread weekends so much and all the stress that comes with them. I hate that I feel I'm just waiting until they are all off in college to finally feel like we have some peace here. I don't want to wish my life away, but I know that I am. It's a good 8-9 years more of this crazyness. I know I chose to marry a man with kids so I shouldn't really complain. But to be honest, if I could tell my pre-in love self something it would be to run...run as fast as you can and as far away as you can before you are head over heels for this guy because you're life is not going to turn out the way you had dreamed it would.