Ya that's what I was thinking. And going back and looking at the past few years....SD9 would never change her underwear from her bm's. I always washed their clothes that they would show up in (we have clothes here for them) and they would change back into those CLEAN clothes before we sent them back to BM's. SD9 would show back up on Saturday morning wearing the EXACT same pair of underwear I had given her to put on Sunday night the week before. She was going 5 days in the same pair. I honestly had never seen dirty underwear like that before. Dry pee and uncleanliness caked on. I mean caked. I asked her about it in the most non scary way but didn't get any answers. She also used to hide the underwear from her mom's house here behind her dresser. I have no clue why. SS9 has always had issues with not going to the bathroom. He has accidents often enough to be considered a little on the strange side. I'm really trying to believe that it is not abuse, but it just seems all to weird to not atleast consider it. And a long time ago when this man first came into the picture, the BM broke up with him for about a week...but called us to tell us all about it and said that the guy left a note for SD(now 9, then about 4) telling her how he would miss her and that he had promised her mother all these things and now couldn't deliver. It was creepy and weird. I'm so creeped out right now! My husband is about to go off the deep end! At this point he wants nothing more than to put this guy in his grave - obviously he won't, but he wishes he could.

We are not on speaking terms with BM. Everything is through email and this is of course the first we have heard of all of this. So we're just trying to get our facts together and we're going to send off an email tonight asking that she handle the situation but also tell her that we are reporting her bf for the inappropriate behaviour and reporting her for neglecting her children when they bring something like this up. CPS has been called before for things like her leaving them alone, allowing her bf to mentally beat the kids down, trying to alienate my husband (the kids bio dad), driving around without booster seats or working seat belts, leaving them with sitters who left them alone and made them ride on the floor of vans so the cops wouldn't see that she had dogs on her seats instead of kids ect! The list goes on and on. She was reported for this stuff because she knew all about it, the kids told her and we told her and she didn't do a damn thing about any of it.
CPS isn't open in that area until 9am. It's a small town and no other office in a near by city will take the call. We've tried before and told unless a child is actually being beaten at that time, to call back at 9am when the office opens. Sad isn't it. That's why I fear nothing will be done.
Bi, I am so sorry you had to go through all of that.

I highly doubt the bm will do anything at all. She's the type that latches onto whoever will give her attention. Currently she is about to pop out this scumbags baby! She will never kick him out. And the kids she had with my husband are 100% a pay check for her. She spends zero on them and spends all her government support and child support on herself and her boyfriend. The kids are forced to wear hammy down clothes that don't fit or aren't gender appropriate from the thrift store down the street. But, CPS won't do anything about that either. It's so frustrating!!!

oh he seems thrilled about this baby. It's a boy though so it's an innocent little baby he can corrupt into treating women like whores and acting like a thug. That's basically this guy in a nut shell. It's pathetic.

So here is where we now stand...we decided that CPS more than likely will just sit on their asses. As they never do anything until something bad happens and it's already too late. So we wrote to BM (no we are not on speaking terms with her and that is our choice, not hers. Too many legal loop holes when we don't have her and our words on paper, plus we hate her and don't want to have to hear her voice lol) We laid it all out on the line and told her she needs to stop being afraid her bf will leave her and stand up for her kids. That we do not want to hear that the kids got in trouble for anything and that we will be on top of this situation for the remainder of the time the kids live in the house. We told her that it is disgusting and beyond inappropriate for a grown man to walk in on the girls when they are naked and curtain closed or not, it is never going to be okay for him to pee with them in the room! That if we hear of anything of the sort happening again that we will be taking her to court and have our family's full financial support behind us. We explained that we are through dealing with CPS and they will not be our call if and when we ever need to make one. For someone who doesn't like to respond to us about anything at all, she wrote back pretty quick and although she immediately tried to blame the kids (saying that they walk in on people too) she said she had spoken to everyone there and it will stop. We then had to write her back and tell her that kids follow the direction of the parents and if they are walking in on the kids, the kids don't know any better. She just kept saying that with only 1 bathroom it's an issue when they take so long. So we came up with rules for her for her bathroom! How insane is it that she can't manage to come up with a set of guidelines to ensure everyone gets the time in the bathroom they need!
Anyway, after an entire day of emailing back and forth and putting her in her place with every excuse she made, it seems (*HOPEFULLY*) that this won't be happening anymore. Time can only tell at this point. And to be honest, the guy is never going to admit to looking at them on purpose. And without any previous history of this behavour it will be damn hard to prove he's a pig and doing it on purpose if that's the case. Atleast to the cops. Court would be a different story. So that's where we are headed if we ever hear of this again.

*Dreaming of the days that life was simple...I think I was 4*

We are for sure keeping an eye on the situation. The one bargaining tool we have is that the last time BM took us to court, she lost in a big way. She has no money and is pregnant again with her bf's child. She does NOT want to be taken to court. Especially considering she has had CPS called on her 3 times by 3 seperate people. Add this to the mix plus all the stuff we have documented and she knows she doesn't have too much to go on. So by us threatening her with a court date and a custody battle, she will do what we ask. Our concern now is that it probably won't be long before she "forgets" all about it or starts to feel comfortable again and allows the next shitty thing to happen. So our best bet is to just ensure we have an open dialogue with the kids and make sure they know they can tell us anything at all. And just keep on hounding BM about every little thing so she's knows we're watching her every move. And I know you're not suppose to bring kids into the issues between parents and everyone always freaks out when kids end up knowing too much by talking to a parent, but really...how do you ever find out the truth if you don't ask.