I'm so glad I found this. Vent
I am really struggling. I am a year into my relationship with my partner and 6 months ago his kids 5 and 7 started staying with us every weekend.
I work full time Monday to Friday and their mother drops them off on a Friday at half past 4 the second I walk through the door and picks them up at 6pm on a Sunday. I am starting to resent my partner. I have no time with him and if I mention it I am told I'm disgusting and I have a problem with his kids being here.
I've blown today. I was watching TV and sd was going on and on about she wanted to watch a film so I finally just said fine take the TV then. I went to play a board game with husband. She walked in and literally sat on me and was like I want to do this. Took the whole game off my lap and started messing up the bits etc.
He also does nothing when they are here. I made a lovely home and they just trash it. Like it's disgusting. They throw food and leave wrappers and point blank say no when asked to clean up. Their dad doesn't clean up either so after a full week of work and my own two kids I am now cleaning up after 6 people.
Their mother doesn't work yet has every single weekend Friday to Monday to herself. I am starting to resent everyone involved. I just want a weekend back. My kids go to their dads every other weekend Friday night till Saturday 6pm, so we both get a night with the kids and both get a night off.
The situation he has with his ex is her basically sending voice notes screaming he's a bad dad if he doesn't take them all weekend and he is like oh OK we need to have them... Then does nothing with them while they are here.
I am one weekend I think away from throwing the towel in. It's not my job to clean up their mess and wrappers as they have no manners in their own home and it's not like I'm trying. I feel like locking myself in my room all weekend to get away from them and just be able to sit for two minutes without constantly needing to do stuff. My own kids aren't like it so I don't understand.
It's not throwing in the
It's not throwing in the towel to walk away from a relationship and situation that doesn't work for you. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Yes. OP, you rushed into this
Yes. OP, you rushed into this and there is no shame in admitting you made a mistake. He's a terrible parent and terrible "partner". Don't put your kids though this any longer. Out he goes.
Yes, please consider leaving
Yes, please consider leaving this relationship. Not just because the children are little terrors, but because it sounds like your partner is a terrible parent and doesn't respect you. If you aren't ready to throw in the towel, or in a position where you can't financially leave, please consider for this relationship, and all future relationships, having some serious boundaries about your space and body and time. It is unacceptable that the children refuse to clean up their own messes. It is unacceptable that your partner won't clean up after them either. Stop. Cleaning. Up. After. them. If things aren't clean, there's no dessert. Or they can't have the remote for the TV until their messes are cleaned up. But have a boundary, and stick to it no matter what.
It's half past 9 here at
It's half past 9 here at night now and they are running around downstairs screaming. I have gone to bed and he's asked why I'm being moody! I can't even watch any TV because the youngest has a meltdown if you turn Ryan's Toy Review off. I'm done.
I don't think this
I don't think this relationship is for you. Never get into a relationship with someone you have to fix. It never works. Your SO is definitely the problem.
He doesn't even sound like a good boyfriend dumping so much on you.
With a SO who Will NOT
Parent his kids and is putting the BM before you. This will never change only going to get worst. When the kids figure out they have the power and control,. Time to make your exit plan. Take it as a learning experience. And leave. Find someone with out kids
Really? What on earth would
Really? What on earth would motivate you to stay with this POS failed man, failed mate, and failed father?
You have to up your standards in an equity life partner.
Do not give it another weekend. When he leaves for work on Monday and the Skids all go to school or back to BM's have the locks re-keyed, and have the movers take all of their crap to a storage unit that you pre-pay for a single month. Have your attorney give your STBXH the key for the storage unit and tell him he has until the end of the month to move his shit or contract for the storage unit in his name.
Do not waste another second of your life on this POS and his toxic codependency on his XW., or their ill behaved failed family progeny.
Take care of you and your own kids. You owe them.... better.
Leave ASAP.
Leave ASAP.
Read your post
You stated "I have no time with him and if I mention it I am told I'm disgusting and I have a problem with his kids being here."
Of COURSE you have a problem with his kids being there! They are PIGS. They are DISRESPECTFUL.
But forget about THOSE THINGs, what is disgusting about wanting to be with your partner?
Id sugggest getting your plans in order. If this is your house, boot him out. If this is his house, stop cleaning up after him and his Feral kiddos, and start planning your escape.
Do you own this home that you made so lovely? I wonder how your kids feel being around your partners annoying spawn?
Your DH calls you distgusting
Your DH calls you distguisting for voicing your (very legitmate) concerns?!??!? Sorry but he's distguisting and so is his lack of parenting!
As someone who just left my relationship with a single dad and his bratty SS5, I can tell you I already feel relieved and can't wait to never have to deal with this hot mess of a situation ever again.
My SS's BM also doesn't work yet she's arranged the custody schedule so that we have his son on every one of our days off! Like you do. Which shows these BM's sense entitlement and selfishness. Must be nice to sit on your a** all day just to pass off a kid onto hard working people who don't get a break!
I lock myself in the bedroom on all my days off unless I pick up an extra shift. And it will continue to be that way until I move ...which I can't wait for! Do you really want to live like that? Do you really want to live in a household where you can't enjoy your hard earned days off??? After a awhile this isn't going to be a slight inconvenience for you, after awhile you're going to be so resentful you won't be able to take it anymore and you'll come to your senses and leave.
There's no hope for you here and the reason why I say that is because if you don't have a partner who is willing to effectivley parent, nothing will change. My ex actually really tried to make concessions with his parenting for me and even so, it still didn't work for me.
Get out before you lose your mind and lose all enjoyment of your life. No man or child is worth losing your happiness and enjoyment of your home.
It's OK
To admit this relationship isnt for you. I was a bio less SM and I resented and hated when my SD was around. A different case than yours, but the same.
Find a relationship that works for you. This doesnt and it wont get easier. Your resentment will grow , and the bigger the skid the bigger the problem.
Step life ages you, it did for me. I used to feel 80 yrs old when I was knee deep in the crap. I think I lost 40 yrs once it was over.
I would get home
Later than your SO. Go away on weekends if you can.
I was married 8 months n realized it was a mistake. If your SO doesn't respect you or have your back now, it won't get better.