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steppinupMT's picture

Hi everyone, I'm not exactly sure of all the abbreviations but I will try my best. My SO and I recently blended our families. We have been together for a year and living together for about 3 months. I have a son 9 and a daughter 3. His boys are 8 and 10. I absolutley love his oldest, even though @ times he's a little to needy, but his youngest is soooo ANNOYING! The worst part is is that he's not even really his biological child! When my SO was married to their mother she cheated on him while he was deployed(she always cheated on him) and got pregnant. SO gave her the benefit of the doubt because he loved her and wanted the baby to be his. Anyways knowing that SK8 isnt his makes me dislike him 10 fold. He's such a big baby and even my son who is about the same age cringes when he finds out they're coming to stay Sad I'm just venting the surface it gets so much deeper, but I just had to let someone know how I feel before I explode :jawdrop: !! I LOVE THIS SITE Biggrin's picture

It drives me nuts when my bf's daughters act needy and clingy, too. They are babied and my kids are definitely not. So I resent putting all this work into my kids by myself for the past 4 years and then having to put up with this behavior from someone else's kids. BIG mistake moving in. Sorry. It will only get worse. We are fine spending time in spurts and fits, but two days in a row and someone will die. LOL Wish you the best, but it's not likely to get better!

StubbornEnough's picture

my hubbys devil child is also the result of a cheating skank. Sometimes I think maybe thats why I can't stand her.

hippiegirl's picture

If the kid isn't your SO's, then why is he not with his mother full time? He shouldn't even be your problem.

Roarin1's picture

That's flat-out wrong. Children should always be with the better-equipped parent, which may or may not be the mother. I make more money, am better educated, have a nicer home, and can - simply put - better provide for my son. However; because of society (and thus the courts) having an attitude such as reflected in your statement, my son lives with his mother.

hippiegirl's picture

Yes, YOUR son....YOUR being the key word. Would you continue to support a kid that was not yours after divorcing his mother? Society & courts aren't an issue in this situation.

Roarin1's picture

Sorry. I had misread the original post.

I still think it's on this guy though. He knew better, but apparently still took legal responsibility for the kid.

dledden's picture

my future darling husband had ss8 with a drug addicted mother. I have been told by members of his family that they all urged him to have a paternity test when ss8 was born, to which he chose not to do. ss8 looks exactly like his mother, NOTHING AT ALL like his father. I have my doubts that ss8 is my fdh's biological son also which could be part of the reason I find it very hard to have any sort of bond with him.

that's a hard situation you are in because you are raising a child that isn't yours or his. I may be doing the same.....

My entire situation is similar, I just became a blended family with my fiancee and his son (ss8). I have 2 bio sons 9 and 6. All of the kids are together full time, my kids father is incarcerated and his kids mother shows up every 3 mos or so and takes the kid for a few hrs or so that's the extent of her involvement. I'm getting used to my household having gone from 3 to 5 only a few months ago.

I came here to vent about my circumstances too with ss8 who is mildly autistic and has been babied most of his life by daddy guilt and grandma guilt over thge fact i guess that he doesn't really have a mother. I'm the only one who really 'expects' of him what I expect of my own kids, because I know he's capable of it. That may make me wicked stepmother, but oh well.

hippiegirl's picture

Yes, I agree Roarin1....he should have had a paternity test done as soon the kid was born. Now, I'm afraid he may be legally responsible, because he stupidly trusted a slut. Sucks for steppinupMT, though, now she has to deal with it.

steppinupMT's picture

I soo wish he would've had a paternity test done when he was born, but instead he signed the birth certificate and has been raising SS8 as his own, the F'cked up thing is he's been paying child support since SS8 was 3 (when they split) and now the B!@%& of a BM is letting the SS8's real father see him on the downlow, or when she wants to get something out of the guy (I have my sources), anyways when I told SO about it he acted like he wasn't too fazed by it. I love this man to death but I feel like his weakness for every little thing for his boys makes him a doormat to BM and she takes FULL advantage including taking his $ whenever possible . I'm just so frustrated with the whole step parent situation. The funny thing is, is that I've dated men with kids before and it was too difficult and I swore I would never EVER do it again, yet here I am :/ Even when his kids are at their mother's house they are constantly calling and taking up his time to talk about NOTHING, but SO is all about dropping everything to make sure he knows they love him since BM is VERY good @ laying on the guilt about him being deployed 3 times and not home with his boys. I feel stuck :jawdrop: