I realized that while I need to have the community of other step-parents, to help me realize that I am not crazy and I am not the only one going through this, that I tend to shy away from posting on here because I feel like everything comes across as negative. I need a place to vent so that I can get rid of some of the negativity that I'm feeling, not wallow in it. So that I can sort out my feelings and get ideas on being more, staying true to me.

BF and I are not married, yet we have committed to each other and are living a married life. There is no way that I can walk away from this relationship or these kids. This is what my heart and what my gut tells me, more than when I was married, this is a deeper, stronger, better relationship than I've ever had before. It's the details that need to be worked out, the day-to-day life that needs more work with all of the extras we bring into it.

I love my life. There are lots of little things I would change, but I wouldn't give up BF or SS's for anything. This is my life and I'm more alive now than ever before. And there are times that I need a place to vent and hear others voices to know that I am not alone.