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Found DH on dating site

hornet64's picture

We have only been separated for 4 weeks and we are not even legally separated. I wondered how long it would be before he started dating again, but 4 weeks!?!?!?!? I feel so insignificant. Like I just got tossed out with the trash. I can't even mentally or emotionally process this... it hurts my heart so badly.

One Step Back's picture

My ex husband and even my current partner are like this. Emotionally needy and they move on immediately pretty much.
My ex even dated a woman - whom he told to her face didn't have the 'wow' factor for him and she's still with him! Seems she's grown on him - but I think this is a fairly common problem with men. They stop the hurt by going back into honeymoon period with someone else.

I'm so sorry for you. Hurts like hell but Catlettuce is right that it's a reflection on him and certainly not you.

luchay's picture

Happened to me too.

2 weeks after my ex and I split he had joined an online dating site, within 4 weeks he had "met the love of his life" - yes he actually TOLD me that.... Within 3 months they were living together.

I didn't want him back, but man it hurt to feel that he was able to just move on THAT quickly.

So I totally get what you are feeling, but do NOT take this as a reflection in any way on YOU - all it means is that he is shallow and not capable of deep, real feelings - and is scared of being alone.

Alegra's picture

My ex boyfriend was on "adult friend finder" before we broke up. That was awkward to find in his browsing history.

Guys don't view sex as emotional as women. He is looking to dull the pain, he's bored, he wants sex, and this seems easy. It isn't a reflection of you not being worthy, or loveable. I'm so sorry...I know it hurts.

SecondGeneration's picture

I wasnt married, but after leaving my boyfriend of 8 years I had met someone new after 6 weeks.

I actually did what Orange County always posts, after months/years of trying to fix issues in our relationship one day I decided enough was enough and simply left with enough clothes to stay away a day. I then returned whilst he was out in order to take the rest of my clothes and jewelry. Originally that was all I was interested in getting back, after 8 years everything becomes "ours" and I felt no desire to take anything from him.
I told him that he was welcome to do what he wanted with the rest of the stuff in the house, when he later found out I was dating he turned up with loads of things he had decided were mine. I think it was his way of ending everything, worked out great for me as I was able to get some savings built up on selling it.

My point is the amount of time it takes to get into a new relationship will generally show you how long youve been emotionally apart. For me I had already left my ex (emotionally) way before I physically walked, so perhaps he feels that actually you guys havent been a proper couple for a long time anyway. Or, alternatively him being on a dating website, perhaps thats simply because hes bored and a bit lonely. Its alot easier to start chatting to someone on a dating website than it is to actually go out and maybe meet someone.
It is not a reflection on your worth, but it is proof that the relationship you two had was totally f*cked and you did the right thing in ending it.

Accordn2L's picture

Oh hell to the NO! I know that made you so mad! If it makes you feel any better I found out my ex-husband was on three dating sites before we seperated. Guess you know why I left huh? lol

I know it hurt your feelings but obviously you did the right thing ending it.

thinkthrice's picture

Meh, so he's looking for another victim--no surprise there. Isn't there a "don't date them" site that has a registry of these so-called men on the prowl for a sugar mama/maid/cook/slave/nanny/on-demand glory hole?