Covid and Visitation at BM
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I'm new but needed to get this out. I have been married to dh for 3 years. I have a dd 15 and he has a dd 8 and sd 16. He sees the sd on every visitation with his dd. Since Covid we have been doing our visitations at BM house and sleeping over. He is acting like they are still married while we are there. Fixing her house, talking to her nonstop, reminiscing and ignoring me. We have been fighting about this and he told me not to come next time if I'm going to get so upset. That means he will be going down to BM house and staying there without me. He was up talking to her about his personal medical history until 2am. I don't know what to do but I can't live like this. Looking for advice.
Why does visitation need to
Why does visitation need to be at her house?
Visitation at her house
Visitation needs to be at her house because the dd is too afraid to travel to our house now because of the virus. BM said she is not going to force her to go. Dh will never fight BM. So it's either he stays there during his visitation to see her or he doesnt see her. They are so enmeshed he couldn't survive not seeing her.
There is absolutely no way in
There is absolutely no way in hell I would be on board with this. Nope.
Also should mention
Dd sleeps in bed with us when she is here. She sleeps with her mother over there. She needs to cuddle with daddy all night and sleep in his arms. Absolutely makes me sick. Thinking of telling dh just to go back to ex wife and put his dysfunctional family back together.
Save yourself!
I can't imagine a single second in that ball-less non man caused shit storm.
I'm sorry but that's too
I'm sorry but that's too weird for me.
First off, his DD is only EIGHT. Where did she get this idea of being afraid to travel? I think someone should explain to her that the actual travelling (presumably she'd be in your car so that isn't isn't a risk per se, it's being in contact with other people that is and that given she's seeing the same people, the risk is absoloutely the same in her mother's home with you there or in your home.
She's sleeping with her parents at EIGHT?! Seriously, it's time you put your foot down. Your bed is your bed and there is absolutely no reason for a child of her age to be in there. What a passion killer!
And stop letting a child call the shots.
What the actual hell? No,
What the actual hell? No, just no. Babying her won't help her anxiety one bit.
Emotional Incest comes to mind
When reading about the cuddling and enmeshment with the little girl.
Add to that he anger-blasts you when you object.
With a hefty dollup of enmeshment with the ex. Then more anger-blast when you object.
I see a trend of him controlling you with his anger-blasting. You do not have to take this
I'm the last one to support breaking away, but this is over the top bad!
Im so sorry you have to go through all this.
WTF is going on here?
Come on. Is this real?
Why would it need to be an overnight visit?
Why would DD be in the bed?
Why would any sensible person not see this as insane?
Yes, exactly what you said
Yes, exactly what you said SecondNoMore. LOL This is just insane. Let's pretend that everything is ok and play house and be in denial and let BM and the skid run the roost.
How is this any safer than your house??
First this a ridiculous response to fighting Covid. People traveling back and forth and God knows where else during the Pandemic is not very responsible.
Asking you and DH to go to BM's house for an hour is crazy let alone staying over. If DD is afraid to travel then visitation needs to stop until this is over. It should anyway I am not a fan of visitation during the Pandemic.There are many ways to communicate now with Face-time Skype etc... You need to put your foot down. Tell DH you are not going to BM's house and furthermore neither is he while he is still married to you. While life allows us free will it allows you that same free will as to what you will and won't tolerate in your marriage.
I am so sorry for you!!! You should never be in that position. What is wrong with your DH that he thinks there is anything normal about that arrangement!!!