I need advice.

I am 10 years older than my husband to be. We have been together for 2 years. I met him while I was still married to my ex, and getting ready to file. He was still married also, and trying to decide if he wanted to divoce.

Long story short we met.... and fell in love. Then we both got our divorces. Both of our ex's were suprised we wanted out of our marriages, including my 2 daughters who were at that time 23 and 16. Everyone thought our marriages were happy... however we were both unhappy for many years in our marriages, and trying to live with it, and or help our spouses to understand our marriages were not working... we both gave up, and then we met each other....

So I guess it was wrong for us to get involved, however in both of our minds.... We had been very unhappy for many years . So was it really wrong because we knew we were ending our marriages way before we met.

After his ex got over her inital shock of the fact that they were going to divorce, she was happy, and moved on with her life.

He has a 7 year old daughter, She is very sweet... I love her very much... We get along great. She stays with us every weekend, and during weekdays too sometimes.

I have made it a point to be very very good to this child, And she loves me. So that is a good thing. (However to me its more like being a grand parent. )

I told him I will not stand in the way of him and his ex raising their child, but if I see her having some problems I will be happy to alert him to it... So he and his ex can help their child.

His wife was very upset when she knew I was in the picture, At first she was going to try to get him back, but when she learned of me, she moved on..... He has bent over backwards to be nice to her... so he can still be a big part of his daughters life... He is a great dad, and I respect him for that. His ex is also a good mother. She loves her daughter, and takes good care of her.

His ex had a couple of boyfriends in the past 2 years, and I think she just gave up on men. She has a good job, and seems happy to be by her self... She partys with her girlfriends, and seems to be ok.

My fiancee, has money, and pays over and above child support, and buys his daughter anything she wants, Him and his ex have rental houses... So he gave her a house free and clear to live in, along with a car... and he also fixed up the house for her to move in.....

So there is no reason for her to be pissy with him... because he is very good to her.

He is good to me also.

I love him very much....

The reason they got divorced is because Their relationship grew cold, they lived in the same house but hardly never spoke to each other, No love, or passion, No Sex. They lived that way for many years..... He worked late into the night, so he would not have to come home and see her, because she was so pissy with him all the time.

I now know why she was pissy..... He has a terrible temper. When he gets mad, he hates the world, and says very rude hurtful things. He is irrational, He says he is under so much stress he just has to blow off steam... He does not mean what he says....He always apoligizes later.... And he would never lay a hand on me.... but he is rude as hell when he is upset. Says very cutting things.

She could not handle his rudeness..... I am also having a hard time with his rude toung.

However him and I do get along great, and I tell him he is acting stupid when he gets rude, and just walk away... I dont listen to his mouthing off... and I tell him, I am not going to listen to that bullshit, when he can be nice, just let me know.

So he shuts up, and then becomes nice.

When he is home or we are toghther he always calls her, and talks to her about their child, and she will call him too.... They talk in length, for like 45 minutes or longer... they laugh, they talk about old times, and get along great.

He is always stopping by her house to drop stuff off,,,, or pick things up... and can stay there for up to an hour.

It was not like that when i moved in with him.... However now they Text more, Talk more, and he stops in to see her more, and she is always giggly and joyous when she talks to him. I know I don't know the half of their conversations, or their visits, because I am not with him all the time,

I don't like it that they get along soooooo very well.... and that he can just stop in to see her any ole time he wants... and go right in her house, and stay for up to an hour, Now that the daughter is in school, She keeps sending him Text messages to stop by and pick this up, or that, or drop stuff off.... So they are alone in the house.. together.

I Want them to get along and raise their child, however I think they are really pushing this with me.... He does it right in front of my face, and I try to act like its no big deal.... but it is getting to me bad.

I am a good looking woman, and am truly thinking of just leaving, and telling him to get back with her because he should be with her, and have his little family back.

I dont want to loose him, but I am not in any mood to play games, and fight for him... I've been down that road, I am too old, to play stupid games.

My problem is... He lived about 450 miles away from me when we met, Now he has moved me here with him.... and all my equipment( I own my own business.) He bought me a building I can run my business out of... and I am up and running, I am a bit dependant on him right now because I am in the process of building my business....

I just want to move my business back home, and live my life. I dont want to play cat and mouse games anymore.

I would stay, if I knew she was not chasing him, and he was not going for her bait.... But I am not having good feelings about this situation.

What should I do.

I have not talked to him about this because, I am afraid to make him mad, I will get the " Wow you don't trust me story."
and feel guilty for my thoughts....

He has a way with words, and knows how to make people do what he wants them to do... Has police training, and can make people think and do things to his benefit, because of his expert communication skills.

I do not let him do this to me, however, he did somewhat when we first met... Now I know his tatics, and just give it back to him. But I want to handle this in an expert way, and i am just trying to figure out how to do that.

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