Can there ever be peace??
So last night was Halloween (Trick or Treat) and the kids were with BM. She didn't get SD anything to wear so we did (SS is almost 15 and didn't want any part of it lol). Anyway, BM refused to come get SD's things from our house so I had to get my kids ready and race over to get her stuff to her so that she didn't go without. When I was on my way SD text me and said, "Hey text me when you're on your way and I'll come out and get it." So I did and she came out of the house chewing on her blanky (she's almost 12). I asked her what was wrong with her because she looked off. She just looked at me and said "mama." I said "oh okay well have fun and I'll talk to you later."
Later in the evening me, my SIL, son, and daughter were out trick or treating and BM pulled up behind us. SD and SS were already at the house getting candy as SIL and my kids walked up. SIL tried to talk to them and they said a quick hey and made a bee line for BM's car. She spun out around me and took off. We ended up behind BM after that at yet another house and my daughter (2yo) was screaming and crying for sissy. SD looked at her and waved at her and jumped in the car. She ALWAYS mothers her little sister and would never go without at least giving her a hug. BM continues on and I decided to make a U-turn and get to the other end of the neighborhood to try and avoid continuing to cross paths.
Right at the end of the night we drove past BM and step kids walking. BM stood there glaring at us and the kids kept their heads down and didn't look over. The windows on my truck were down so I heard one of them whisper "I love you" as we passed by.
WTF?
Feedback from bio and steps welcome here...
**OP your fist sentence made
**OP your fist sentence made me chuckle "and the kids were with BM"...OF course they were OP
Only BMs can 'do' Halloween didn't ya know.
Have you thought about moving?
DH and I had a chat the other weekend about Halloween Drama in Ex-ville during a stroll around one of those Mega Halloween Costume stores. I do not know which is worse Halloween or Christmas.
Your poor step kids...reading that made me sad.
I just don't understand the
I just don't understand the hatred. SHE cheated on HIM (with like everyone he knew - including family members) so it's not like he did anything to her to cause the split. Plus it's literally been YEARS. So why make her kids miserable like that? I just can't comprehend it.
She sounds like BioHo. BioHo
She sounds like BioHo. BioHo was the serial cheater, so DH divorced her. Naturally, 'Ho made HIM out to be the bad guy for breaking up the family. After all, what man wouldn't want to stay married to a woman who had boinked every Tom, Dick, and Harry in a 100-mile square radius (including 'shipping them in' from other states)?
BioHo is a narcissist and a control freak. She absolutely cannot STAND the idea that one of her offspring could have more in common with and relate better to my DH. Or actually LIKE him better.
So why make her kids miserable? To have the DELUSION that they like/love her more than DH. Because she NEEDS that. Because she is a sick and twisted beeyotch and cares more about her own feelings than those of her children.
Yep... That is an accurate
Yep... That is an accurate description. Makes sense what you said... If she can intimidate them into not acknowledging us the in her mind they aren't acknowledging us because they don't WANT to. Omg... The level of insanity just continues to grow.
“She sounds like BioHo. BioHo
“She sounds like BioHo. BioHo was the serial cheater, so DH divorced her. Naturally, 'Ho made HIM out to be the bad guy for breaking up the family. After all, what man wouldn't want to stay married to a woman who had boinked every Tom, Dick, and Harry in a 100-mile square radius (including 'shipping them in' from other states)?
BioHo is a narcissist and a control freak.”
Aniki, we have the SAME bioho!
No, there will never be
No, there will never be peace. But do your stepkids a favor and go to another town to trick-or-treat. Better yet, move to another town. Life must be hell for them.
Please, don't do stuff for
Please, don't do stuff for the kids on BM's time. As BP she has a right to neglect them all she wants, and they have a right to hate her for it later.
So you think that I should
So you think that I should just let it be if she won't do for them and they ask me to pick up the slack just say I can't and let them go without? I thought about this approach as well... I just have always been conflicted on which way to deal with it. I'm leaning toward you're right though.
Yes. "I'm sorry kids,
Yes. "I'm sorry kids, whenever I try to help it makes your mom really mad and creates a bunch of drama. I think I've been overstepping my bounds." Then maybe they'll take a good hard look in her direction.
Yea, I like this approach.
Yea, I like this approach. Just be honest about why you can't meet all their needs. But try not to badmouth their mom because that won't go down well, even if it's all true. They will put together the pieces when they're old enough.
It is this kind of toxic
It is this kind of toxic parent that needs to be continuously confronted and shredded in every way possible within the law IMHO.
Grrrrr!
BM is so toxic she is damaging her own children and sadly yours too to advance whatever evil agenda she has.
Your SKid's are old enough to start hearing the facts. Next time BM calls for your help ... refuse. Then during the next time you have with your SKids drop the "I am sorry kids. Your mom has a huge problem with any help I try to give and her anger makes life difficult for you when you are with her. So... I will not be helping her any more so she doesn't get mad at you. We can have a healthy relationship when we are together... Okay!"
Take care of you and yours and do what you can for your Skids.