I'm currently pregnant (11 weeks) with my first baby. DH and I tried for this baby, so obviously when we found out I was pregnant, we were thrilled. However, I can't stop myself from feeling jealous that this isn't his first baby. I wish it was. He's already gone through all of this with someone else, so none of it is new and exciting for him. Just knowing he was in a labor and delivery room with someone else, holding her hand, coaching her on, and watching his child being born hurts me...I want to be his first.

I told him how I feel, and he tells me that it is new and exciting for him and that it's completely different because he actually wants this baby. When he was with BM (never married to her, btw), she was supposedly on birth control (she calls SD her "miracle baby"). She got pregnant, he didn't want the baby but she did, so he tried to "do the right thing" and stay with her and attempt "being a family". Clearly, this did not work out. He didn't want to be a father at the time and has told me it took him some time to love SD but he still doesn't feel connected to her like a father should. He thinks it makes me feel better by telling me it is a new experience for him since he's having a baby with someone he loves/a baby he wants/and a baby he already loves, but it doesn't (I also feel sad for SD because of how he feels towards her). When it comes down to it, he's been through all of this before; he already knows what's coming and what's going to happen.

Do I seem selfish about feeling this way? I didn't anticipate these feelings before I got pregnant...