When I got married to my Dh I was 24,dd3,sd4 going on 5,and pregnant.I always assumed I would make the perfect sm,since I have been a stepchild,boy was I wrong!when we got married neither one of the other birthparents were in the picture,nor are they now. Due to dh carrier and continued absence I was left early on to raise this blended family by myself. I watched sd odd behavior at this very young age with concern: she would choose growing ups over peers,telling lies to make her look better,without realizing the backlash on other ppl.I brought my concern to dh ,but of course this behaviour was totally excusable to him. At the same time, what was I to do,after all I'm just the small with no rights,and I had to build a trusting rs. Throughout her young years this behavior continued including by that time lying to teachers,in-laws etc,and more worrisome,using and abusing ppl for sd gain and instant gratification. I continuesly shared my opinion with dh and begged him to interfere with this behavior,knowing what the future will hold,but he didn't,it was easier to leave responsibility with me,I turned to my mil who hates my guts,no success just a simple " oh children lie". Due to the fact that I am a step child myself you can imagine the inner turmoil I went through! You are damned if you do and dampened if you don't! During those first 6-7 years I also dealt with an autism diagnosis for ds, had another child and dh continuously in literal warzones. This was truly the worst time of my life,mil did manipulate sd and shunned dd.all in all she was very unhelpful! Fast forward to now,.... sd now almost 17. Over the years I have gotten very good at knowing what sd is up to and knowing the things she will do 24 hours before she does them. ( yes great skill, but completely worthless due to the fact that nobody will help) ..... I don't want to write a novel I will give u a quick rundown of what has transpired the last 2 and a half years... buckle up!!!! It started with a fb msg from a total stranger telling me how sd is txt and sending x rated material to the poor ladies son and that said lady had tried to get a hold of me and was lied to by sd pretending to be me on the phone etc. ( yes I called this roughly 3 weeks earlier) ..... needless to say this was attended to by ME, with the internet,txt behavior speech dangers involved etc all while dh is speechless and resembles a clueless person on my couch! Punishment: no electronics!!!! ( Throughout those years, on numerous occasions I was approached or stood in houses, dealing with other parents, telling me how much of a #### sd is, yes those words were used by other adults) If you now expect this behavior changed you are wrong, from this point forward it went something like this,......few weeks pass gut is telling me so.etching is of, find iPad from dd in sd room, chatting random strangers getting sending random strangers inappropriate txt,pics lying to random strangers age looks goals etc. Caught and confronted, nothing but lies, followed by hours of convoys. Punishment!!! Few weeks later, my gut is telling me something (________________) insert above here, just add more and more escalations to said behaviors! Up until a few days ago, once again an electronic was found ,By me,and by accident, I stepped on it,hiding under the carpet. I took said phone, asked who's it was and how long she had it, I was lied to on the second account,from the get go. I handed the phone to dh and left the situation, I have truly given up! By the time I return dh told sd to contact bm and move out! I completely stayed out of any of this, however the next day ( mind you that night he left again for 2 weeks) I cautioned him about his actions and that he should consider what he is doing and that he is especially not doing this because he means to do me a favor, in his mind! Before he left we had a talk a very understanding one, on how I feel,and he should know because my single most fear was always I would do wrong by sd, and he was very understanding, or so I thought. In the middle of the next night I am getting a call from dh blaming me for everything ( he saw msg between sd and bm in which she is super excitedly leave, she never had contact with bm). No love was lost between us this night everything stored up for almost 12 years bust out of me, and the dictionary would be ashamed of my choice language!!! He broke my heart and more importantly my trust!!! By using ,what he knew very well,my worst fears, against me!! He is due home in a few hours..... and I don't know how to feel about that,as for sd, he will deal with this on his own. I will not take any more responsibility no matter if she stays or leaves!