No contact with BM
since November when we dropped SD14 at her house. SD14's sisters called us late November and left vm for SD14 that BM had run a marathon. BM left a VM for SD14 on Christmas which was not returned as we were skiing in Colorado....
Since then, we have received no emails, no surprise visits, no nada....and it has me on pins and needles. I like it when BM is being "idiotic," (h's words) because then I know what she is up to. But all this silence is making my head hurt.
Anyone ever had this experience? The BM seems to just give up or drop off the face of the earth.
I talked to H about it in light of summer approaching and we had agreed to allow SD14 to resume visitation with BM after she finishes this school year of being mainstreamed and out of spec. ed. classes. H says, BM doesn't want to see her; so why should we initiate any contact?
I dunno...I'd much rather know what people are doing than not know....maybe I'm being silly....I dunno.
Overanalyzing,
Evil Diva
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I guess it depends on how u
look at it...our BM went off to "live her life",,,and at first it was very hurtful to skids that she didn't keep in contact with them...she would call them once every few months to let them know how great her life was and it would just devestate them, and break mine and DH's hearts....she would tell them she was sending them things that never came...all in all, she seemed to wreak more havoc for them when she did call....now she doesn't call anymore...we have even been supportive of the kids to call her, but they want no part of it...(she was very emotionally and physically abusive to them and they are in counseling to deal with it all now) so depending on whether BM has a positive or negative effect on yur SD, I think that should determine if u really want her idiotic behavior in yur life....I prefer when mine is not in the picture, because her affect on the skids is just too psychologically damaging for them...consider it a blessing that u have had no contact if she is like mine!!!
"Sooner or later, everyone's bill comes due"
Bm
Bm wants you to forget that the kd is there and that she might owe you CS so stays away so you wont wake up one day and say $$$$$.
Sounds Like A Dream!
I would pray that BM would drop off the skids and then drop off the face of the earth!
lmbo...
It has been quite peaceful and I am beginning to realize that I should be living it up, instead of waiting and wondering.
Evil Diva
ditto!
I would love nothing more than for BM to take off and never call. SD's would be so much better off without the PAS. Although in our case when BM gets quiet, she is plotting some attack of some sort...
~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.
We are still doing the no contact thing unless necesssary
and it has been going quite well so far. I have only had to deal with BM a few times in about the last month. Yay. She has been the one forced to come and speak with us, so she gets the raw end of it all. I don't tell her anything anymore about the kids or anything. Unless someone is dying, she can figure it out on her own. I do understand though, what u are saying, but it's always been that way with our BM. She waits til the absolute last minute to tell us everything! Soemtimes she would let us know stuff when we had already initiated coversation, but now there isn't any so we just wait. Our mindset is that stuff will happen, and it will all be last minute. We aren't surprised by it and we don't really care anymore so no biggie. It does feel like the calm before the storm though sometimes.
"A parents job is to eat as much sh*t as we have to so that the children do not."
analyzing
I understand completely. Our BM was a daily thorn in our side for weeks..there was so much drama for about 3 weeks..than one day it really came to a head with me really laying into her..and now we haven't heard a word from her..(well almost except for the drama at the dr. office)..
But it's kind of weird. To go from having drama everyday to nothing.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"