You are here

They're Baaaaaaack.......

christine77's picture

Submitted by christine77 on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 1:02pm

The SDs have arrived in all their glory. They are back to once again, remind me just how flippin wonderful they are (like I could forget)!!

The first question out of SD9 was "hey daadddyyyy, when is SD13 getting her new blackberry curve"? The funny part of this whole cell phone thing is now he is regretting telling her he was giving her a curve, he said last night that he only said that to her because I made him mad. Isnt that precious.. now H has no idea how to tell her no, because God forbid if them children get mad at him one little bit. Remember how I am supposed to mind my own business?? He asked me last night what he should do. I laughed. I said "Lets not even get into this, you know darn well you will hand that child a 300 dollar phone regardless of what I say, so whats the point in pretending like today you want my advice" So we left it at that. He got lucky last night because she left her other perfectly working phone at her moms and he would need that to switch the SIM card out to the curve.

We had the usual banter going on last night.. the 472 times that SD9 has to tell her daaaaddddyyyy that she loves him. Do I sound cynical? Judge me if you want, but when the SD9 is on her fourteenth time telling her dad she loves him, I start to puke in my mouth. I dont know why she feels the need to pronounce her love for her dad every time she steps in the same room as him, or how many times she will walk in a room JUST to say "i love you daaadddyyy" and walk out.

Sometimes I wonder if im being ridiculous, am I being jealous? Who knows.. I just know its over-kill. I dont know if she is insecure or what, but how many times a day do you need to say you love your dad? I think back when I was little, I had a wonderful home.. great parents, a fantastic childhood and I dont remember professing my love for my dad every ten minutes. You may think im exaggerating, but im not. Not at all, I wish I were. Is that her idea of keeping her dad wrapped around her finger, or does this child just really really really really really really love her dad??

The best part of the night was when she wanted help with her homework. Of course DH asked her to bring it to me...hahahahahha.. but I cant seem to get the "mind your own business" thing out of my head. Which, when he did tell me that the other day I said to him "Remember that when SD9 needs help with homework", so it was ironic that he sent her to me for her homework help. I waited until she left the room to get her things and I said to him.. "im sorry, im busy minding my own business tonight, youre gonna have to handle this one" and walked away, put my ipod on and drowned everyone out. That felt good.

Im probably going to rub some of you the wrong way with talking about the love thing, but its not even that she is saying she loves him 472 times a day... its just hearing it over and over and over again. When she walks into a room there are times I want to say it before her. I want to go "Hey guess what H, SHE LOVES YOU". Ya know, like.. okay.. we all got it.. you love your dad, we will never ever forget it, because Lord knows you will not stop saying it.

Okay, I'm done now. Thanks for reading.. I really appreciate all of your feedback. I love this site.. and I just might say that the rest of the day!! LOL

Comments

doglover1's picture

Submitted by doglover1 on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 2:30pm

I know how ya feel christine. I hear DAD!! or where's DAD or Dad come here about the same number of times each day. I could puke. My DH has confronted this and it is getting less and less. But I know for me that i had to tell him my thoughts and feelings on these things. (not all the time) But enough so that i wouldnt flip out from keeping in all inside.
Not sure how i would handle the I love you thing. Its strange. SOunds like she is insecure. DOes she have a good relationship with her mom?

brutallyhonest's picture

Submitted by brutallyhonest on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 2:34pm

I think you'll find that your opinions on the fawning over "daddy" thing are WELL understood here. We won't judge you at all because most of us with SDs deal with this in some weird form or another. I love my own Dad, but I stopped calling him Daddy at about age 5 and besides an occasional hug, I didn't feel the need to hang all over him, sit BETWEEN he and my mom, sleep in bed with him, ect....

I think your SD's behavior is odd and I would find it extremely irritating. Saying I love you that many times in a row is like crying wolf. She's wearing out the phrase and it is losing its meaning. She's probably figured out the number of I love you daddy's it takes to get out of being in trouble or get a new toy is my guess.

SM#1's picture

Submitted by SM#1 (not verified) on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 6:32pm

My SD9 does the exact things you describe! She tells H she loves him constantly, she calls him "daddy", and TRIES to sit between us. Its so funny when my H says "what are you doing, get out of here and let me sit with my wife!" I live for those moments.

christine77's picture

Submitted by christine77 on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 3:12pm

Im not alone in this. I cannot even explain how nice it is to know that im not "crazy" as DH puts it, or his other favorite "youre so jealous of my kids". To me that is odd that he even says that.

Regardless, its just a sick sight around here, 95% of the time. He even said to them the other night.. "are you girls ready to go nite-nite? YES HE DID!! I couldnt even believe my ears, its as if he was talking to a couple two year olds. NITE-NITE??? are you kidding me right now?????

Do any of you think I should chime in one of these nights and do what I planned? Saying it before her? Maybe she will get the point? I dont know.. it will probably be a waste of my time. Or maybe I should walk around telling him I love him every few minutes... maybe that will send a message. I dont know.. I dont know what to do anymore.

Hanny's picture

Submitted by Hanny on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 3:43pm

why don't you say YOU love him every time you walk into the room. Maybe Dad and step will get the picture!

christine77's picture

Submitted by christine77 on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 3:56pm

that is what im going to do tonight. I hate to be the one bringing the tension and so on..BUT nobody seems to give a rats ass about their crap when it comes to me. I guess tonight im gonna turn some tables... and see what happens.

There will definitely be a blog about it tomorrow, I have a feeling I might ruffle some feathers tonight. :jawdrop:

now4teens's picture

Submitted by now4teens on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 4:54pm

Christine, I feel your pain, girl- I really do. My three SDs have been totally warped by this mindless "I love you", but in another way- but it's totally annoying just the same.

In my case, it all stems from their whack-job BM. From the first time I came into the picture, I noticed that she called them constantly when they were with us (at LEAST 10X a day- and I'm not kidding. And you'd hear their end of the conversation...
"Uh huh, I love you, too, Mom. Ok, bye. Yeah, I love you, ok gotta go.... Yes, I love you lots, too... Yes, I DO...I really do love you....ok bye...ok, no, I DO love you."

And on and on and on.

And then the sick pattern would carry over to DHs phone calls every time HE would talk to them as I would hear HIS end of the conversation with them, "Yes BD, I love you, too....ok, bye...alright, but I really have to go now and I'll talk to you later. I love you, too...Bye...ok, I love you, too.

Finally I havd to tell him that ONE "I love you" was enough per phone call. It was getting out-of-hand. The girls were just saying it out of habit (courtesy of their mom) and it was just WORDS. It meant nothing. Besides, if their mother REALLY loved them, she would commit the heinous acts of emotional abuse that she heaps on them day after day, would she now?????

So DH finally "saw the light" and tried it! One "I love you" per phone conversation (YEAH ME!). And I heard his end, "Ok, I love you, too...ok, bye...no, I'm not mad at you, why do you ask?...no, I'm fine...ok, I'll talk to you later...ok, bye."

So because he didn't respond with his usual tyraid of "I LOVE YOU'S", they actually thought he was angry with them!!!! Isn't that sad? It's all about conditioning. BM had them so brainwashed into equating that if you don't tell me 100 times a day that "I love you", then you MUST either hate me or be angry with me. Isn't that F'd up?

Perhaps this is the case with your SD?

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis