Time for court HELP!
So BM has recently put out a restraining order on FH. Apparently to him calling her crazy is domestic violence (in my opinion it is stating a fact lol)(and just a note FH has never been violent to her in anyway she is claiming emotional abuse just because they fight with each other, yep he picked a winner when he got with that one), we don't think it went through. BM's bf was the one to "serve" the papers and they came with big X's on the page. Sketchy I know, but FH is going to the court to find out for sure that it is not valid. Well we still have the matter of the court date whether it is valid or not so we have to find a lawyer but since we don't know any of the lawyers here I was wondering how do you tell if a lawyer is a good one. Clearly I want a lawyer that is a shark but how do you tell? I wish I had more experience at this or more time. It is going to be hard finding an amazing lawyer fast enough for the trial.
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it's not valid
Her BF can't be the one to serve the papers, an officer has to, and to get a restraining order, there has to be at least 3 proven "acts" for them to grant one. It's alot of paperwork to fill out, and a process, unless her really "attacked" her, and their were witnesses, or he was proven to be "phone stalking" her. Had to go thru something like this before. As far as the lawyer, first impressions really do mean alot, be clear on what you want, and watch for lawyers reactions, and JMO, this is for your DH, get a male lawyer, from my personal experence, a man will work harder to get your DH what he wants. Not to offend any one, it's just based on what I have been thru."~waiting on the world to change~"
Chel, I don't know...
Rules must vary from state to state on proving grounds for a restraining order. BM fled from Georgia to Louisiana and filed a restraining order because DH was "violent and dangerous! A born and trained killer! He has guns! I'm scared for my life!" And because this was before *most* military saw any action (2002 - before we got into Iraq) but he had just come home from Afghanistan, the judge thought "better safe than sorry" and granted it. Or something.
This is a man who has never laid a hand on me, never *threatened* to lay a hand on me, who cringes and ducks away if I raise my voice. He acts like I'm going to throw something at him or come over and start beating him. Because, you guessed it, that's what BM used to do to him.
I'm totally torn about the domestic violence issue in law enforcement. Sure, restraining orders are good things if someone is dangerous, but would a piece of paper stop someone who was intent on harm? I'm not (at ALL) saying that women make this stuff up. But the way BM lied about DH makes me sick, and the way she gets everything handed to her because she's female and plays the "Oh, poor me!" card makes me want to puke. If a man tried to do that crap, he'd get laughed at in court and slapped down hard.
~Trish
Contact a local father's rights org and ask for a JD referral.
STB,
Where are you located? I have the perfect family law attorney if you are in TX.
Drop me a personal message and I would be happy to give you his contact information. Since we have been using him we have yet to go to court for any of the asinine crap that BioDad pulls.
This guy just writes a very concise letter outlining what BD will do or not do in regards to my SS and the Custody/Support/Visitation judgement and what will be presented in court is he does not comply with the Judgement. BD makes it easy for us with his endless string of live in girlfriends/wombdonors and never ending addition to his progeny. (Sorry CG, I have not slipped in a while
)
After the letter(s) are delivered BD and his WhackJob mother crawl whimpering back in to the toothless idiot hole that they crawl out of periodically.
Anyway, get a real pitbull and you should get some decent results.
Good luck and best regards,
Howdy neighbors!
Like Rags and VicM, I too live in TX and have retained an awesome lawyer for the FH recommended by our district attorney.
But if not in TX, call your courthouse, county clerk, district clerk, see when they have court and go watch some lawyers in action. It's a little time consuming, but you might want to see what you're going to be shelling that first $1500 out on. If you narrow it down to a couple of prospects, it shouldn't take more than a couple of hours of spectating and when you figure out that hourly rate - should definitely be worth your time. If you're strapped for time, you're going to need a referral from someone you trust or like Rags suggested a father's rights organization. Short of those, I would do a search online of "how to find a lawyer" and interview the prospects using some tips you get from the search.
here's a nolo article on it:
http://www.nolo.com/article.cfm/pg/2/objectId/796DE8B4-2417-4175-80714E5...
Anyone besides the plaintiff
Anyone besides the plaintiff can serve you. I've gotten one on my ex. And if there was no physical attack, no police report for any harrassment or proof, I wouldn't even bother getting a lawyer because it won't be granted!
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Thank you all for your help
Thank you all for your help I think we have found the perfect lawyer. He is classy but cut throat and most importantly believes in our case. We tried this other lawyer who happened to be a woman (kinda offended for my gender because of her) anyways she kept telling us that BM had a great case and she can get away with saying anything and the court would believe it. Well compare this to our first two consultations where they looked at the paper and said wow you have got to be kidding me. And yes the restraining order is not valid! At one point a lawyer asked my FH if he picked better the second time LOL. Well I will keep you updated on the case but as of now we are more than fully confident, however, we did think it was worth it to spend the money on a lawyer just to give BM the oh shit factor. Please note she is representing herself. Oh yes this will be fun!
We have the same situation with my wifes Lady Lawyer.
STB,
No offense to the ladies but ....... we experienced the exact same situation with my wife's original lawyer. She gave us nothing but the "work it out with BioDad, you have cooperate, it is best for kid, etc......." CRAP!
The "Man" lawyer asked us a few questions when we first met with him. I paraphrase below.
1. Is this in the child's best interest or are you mainly interested in sticking it to BioDad?
2. How important is this to you and how much are you willing to spend because it will not be cheap?
3. Are you willing to listen to me if I do not think what you are looking to accomplish is reasonable and will you allow me to make suggestions of alternatives that I believe will have the best chance of getting close to what you want?
I was hooked at that point. It is really interesting to this day (14+ years) that my wife will call HER lady lawyer when she wants to vent and be coddled but will call MY man lawyer when she wants something done. Either way costs us a fortune but at least my guy gets stuff done. I keep telling my beautiful wife that it would be cheaper for her to find a therapist to vent about BioDad with than using the first lawyer. I just get glared at when I bring it up. :?
Just some thoughts.
Good luck and Best regards,