To all NEWCOMERS...
Had I known for a megasecond just five years ago that THIS SITE
existed, I NEVER would have married my H.
I would have run like HELL!!
Like many of us state on this site, it is difficult to discuss
the "issues" with which we deal with family, friends. Many of
them have no experience with this....they want us to be HAPPY
and wish us well...and they hope all things work out. Others
are SICK of listening to the same thing over and over again,
but, again, having no experience, they have no advice to give us.
PLEASE PLEASE heed the advice of all of "us" who are putting up
with crap we don't need, crap we don't DESERVE...and, like Sarah 101, who have FINALLY taken that STEP, just GET OUT.
Personally, I'm giving this relationship until Christmas. If
I have to put up with ONE MORE FRIGGING HOLIDAY of "the first
family" coming first while I have to FIND THINGS TO DO as to
avoid their nutty asses, I'm GONE!!
Life is TOO SHORT...there is WAY TO MUCH TO ENJOY than to sit
around waiting for the "shoe to drop" and wonder where you
STAND. I stand my GROUND on this one!
I need some cheerleaders!! Anyone up for a RAH!! (I was never
a cheerleader by the way...I played basketball!!)
- KittyKat's blog
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Comments
I'll cheer ya on, Kitkat! I was honestly surprised
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
you came back from T-day from your daughters! How in the world did you leave Fla., your D, to come back to this???
Actually, BW
We left Florida on Sunday (it's chilly down there now) and we
went to NYC on Monday to see the Christmas show at Radio City.
Had a blast; she's (BD) was actually interviewed by MTV when
we were in Times Square...if you want to see her, just go on
mtv.com; Brittany Spears comments; she has a blue PARKA on;
long cry from a bathing suit in FLA!! She's 16, just so you
know with whom they are talking!!
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm right there with you KittyKat.
I've given BF until the New Year to shape up his act or i'll be walking out the door as well.
I wish I knew about all of the s@#t that came with skids before I step into this role, I only found this site a couple of months ago, unfortunatly 4 years too late.
Let's see what the New Year brings. Hopefully love and peace.
Kittykat-how long have u and your H been married? And how
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
long before it started to feel like something less? I've known women to stay in unhappy situations for like decades, and don't know how they do it-or why, unless it's financial. And let me tell ya, I'd rather be poor, than live like this. I just don't want to be totally ruined.
And how have you maintained, watching your BD in the situation?
I ask, because of the T-day fiasco here. My home has always been a refuge for my son to come to-a place of peace and love - the only place he has had to come to on holidays, when he's been stessed and just needed away from everything. He couldn't go to his dad's (long story). but I feel just horrible that I have cost him that. Just horrible. I can't afford to take him away, just the two of us, and he wouldn't want to go, anyway. 30 miles away are alot of his lifelong friends, and he's always known he could come to my home, hang with me, go spend a FEW HOURS with his BD, his friends, and come back, feeling content and peaceful. And I cost him all that.
RAH RAH!!!
im lucky that a have a dream for a DH but if he was anything like alot of DHs on here oh hell no! i would run so fast in the other direction!! these situations are too hard and if u dont have the support of ur DH then u are SCREWED. so i agree...if u dont, get out, find someone truly worthy of u and stop wasting ur time and instead spend it on people who actually give a shit about u!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Kitty, you and the other's here are what holds me up
when I think I can't take anymore and am just about ready to wrap my suv around a tree, I post here...I vent here....and wonderful, wonderful people like you respond and help me get through another day.
I spend so much time trying to analyze everything at home every second...I don't want to offend anyone, or hurt anyone's feelings, or cause any emotional trauma to the skids...it's like I have to make all these huge, giant decisions how to behave, think, and act all in a split second that so many times I just feel frazzled and want to just run away. But you and everyone knows how to help me, and always have some kind words of support that gets me back on track.
You and all my other friends here have given me the strength to not be a doormat to H or bm or the skids, and to stand up for myself and my right to live happily. I know in my heart that without your support I would not be functioning right now...I'd probably have lost my mind completely and wound up in a nut house.lol
Go Team!!!
I would still marry DH
But would not try to save SD realizing that is an impossible feat as she is hell bent on self destruction.
BUT....
I will say that should something ever take DH away from me, I will not ever again be a SM. Maybe a "Dad's new wife" to grown SKs (though I know that can be challenging but thanks to this site I will be better armed to know what to avoid.) BUT not SM to children.
EVER.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
I totally agree with
you Sita! I feel the same way about DH and SD. }:)
I know I didn't just see you post this!
Grown SK's can be just as bad if not worse than the others. Take my advice on this one! Grown son always needing daddy to fix and pay for things. BM included (don't forget BM neediness where my DH is concerned). Uggghh, I'm sick of it this week@!&^^& First SD loses her whole set of keys and the only key to start her car. DH paid $205.00 to have keys made. My house key is also on this lost set and keys have still never been found. I'll have to change my locks because at this point it looks like someone stole the keys and I'll bet they're planning to return and steal the car at a later date. SS car needed brakes fixed Tuesday because they just disintegrated somehow, no warning - yeah right, so DH spends $247.00 on that and does the work himself, no help from SS. In addition somehow SS lug nuts all fall off his wheel except for 1 last night. How in the heck does that happen without being noticed? How do you drive on 1 lug nut?? Did they all fall off at the same time?? So guess who goes and buys all new posts and lug nuts for SS car? Yep, you guessed it. OMG don't get me started on adult skids! Repeat after me -they're all bad, they're all bad......
HAHAHA
Harley...we're not ALL bad, adult skids that is. I am an adult skid, or will be soon. I have been a skid to someone most of my life. I am gracious and accepting, and BEST of all, I take care of myself and my own family. I DO NOT call daddy at every whim!
I was a skid too
until my mom passed away, but I never ever dreamed of asking my parents for anything once I was grown. Once I left the house, I provided for myself. I don't understand how a grown SS like mine can do this and feel good about himself. I'm afraid he is going to start relying on his 19 yo GF to provide and take care of him like my DH seems to like me taking care of him financially. Yuck! I so want to give my SS's GF a heads up.
"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac
Yes I know BUT...
I am so much older and wiser about this stuff now. Those red flags would be jumping up left and right for me if a BF is enmeshed in his kids or exW's life. This site will always be my compass!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Regardless
I would still marry DH even if I knew then what I know now... but I wouldn't put so much effort into being nice to SD8 like I have done.
DH has always been great to me... his only MAJOR flaw is his stupid daughter and the way he babies her. Gag. I wish that would change.
Rah Rah Rah
I am still with my FH and even though we have gotten through all the BM drama (stepkid is actually great). I'm giving him til march - our 3rd year anniversary to get some other crap taken care of (house) otherwise I'm cutting my losses and moving on. My own son was telling me today that my FH is so stupid and he said I'm not just saying this to kiss your ass mom but i and my friends think you are so HOT! Awww....I know I can find another man in a week!