You are here

FMIL is wonderful but...

smurfy1smile's picture

Submitted by smurfy1smile on Thu, 10/30/2008 - 7:59pm

So BF and I are working on his response to send the court regading BM's motion. FMIL has always been a great person to bounce stuff off of and have read stuff and correct stuff and add stuff. This time is no exception. BUT, BF adopted my daughter last spring and BM knows he has a daughter. She does not know she is not blood and neither of us finds this information relevant to anything regarding BM. I have had FMIL check over stuff for us and each time she changes half-sister to adopted sister. Am I wrong to be annoyed? We know she is not blood but when you adopt a child they are your child not your half-child, but your child, blood or not you agreed in the adoption to take care of them the same way you would any other child in your family. I think if BM knew she was adopted she would get even more vindictive and say stuff like you only adopted her to get out of paying child support, etc. Which is totally not true. My daughter did not have a father in her life and her and my BF bonded and are quite a bit a like in looks too. BF wanted to be her father and she agreed so it was done. She carries both of our last names. My BF's parents are still not totally okay with the situation but they are trying to get to know her and she them.

Time will tell, I guess!

Comments

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Thu, 10/30/2008 - 8:24pm

It takes a big man to stand up and adopt a child that is basically fatherless. And you are absolutley right. She is not longer half anything. She is his daughter, and she is FH's daughter's sister. Not even half sister. She is blood...the love your FH and your daughter have is blood. I think it's ridiculous if anyone says otherwise.

I have two SD's. One of them, and only because she was younger than her older sister when I came into her life, is like my own child. The other is in College and on with her own life. Her and I never had a bonding period. My SD 14 is a wonderful person. I love her to death. She may only be a SD by the courts but by blood she is my daughter. I don't care what the DNA test say. Your FH is the same way apparently....he loves his daughter, regardless of the DNA she is his.

Why is FMIL changing the paperwork? Does she not accept yall's daughter? Regardless if they do or not, your FH does. That should be all they need to know.

That upsets me to no end. In my house there are no steps. We are a family. Thank God for that. But let anyone interfer with the harmony I've worked so hard for and there will be hell to pay. MIL, FIL, DH, BS, SD's, or BD!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL! I just am not having it!

That's easy to say in my situation though, I don't have to have it.

Is FH upset at this?

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Fri, 10/31/2008 - 8:10am

So your youngest daughter he adopted, and he has a son with BM, so your youngest daughter is now his son's half-sister, right? Unless there is some legal reason why it needs to say "adopted", which I don't know if there is one, then I would leave it as half sister. Maybe she just is old fashioned and feels like since its not his biological child she thinks it should say adopted? Maybe because the child is older than his son and you're her mother, it makes sense to her to say adopted? I don't know. I would ask her why she thinks its relevent to say adopted instead of half.